When a couple become parents, everything changes. The new parents may expect the child to bond them closer, when in reality children can do the opposite because they place enormous strain on a relationship. Two-thirds of women feel that their marriages decline after they have children, according to research at the University of Washington. They usually began experiencing the deterioration at around the time of the child's first birthday.

Approach problems as something you and your partner have control of and can solve together

So what's different about couples who negotiate the stormy waters of parenthood without detriment to their own intimate relationship? In an effort to find out, the renowned marital researcher Dr John Gottman studied 82 married couples during the first six years of marriage. During that time, 43 couples became parents. Dr Gottman found that couples who appeared to have a strong marital friendship were most resilient to the decline in marital satisfaction that inevitably follows parenthood. A strong bond between both partners effectively inoculated them against stress. As a result of the research, Dr Gottman offers a strategy for strengthening marriage after the children arrive:

build on your fondness and affection for your partner;

be aware of what is going on in your spouse's life and be responsive to it;

approach problems as something you and your partner have control of and can solve together;

deal with conflict respectfully and gently. There was also special advice for fathers: men who made emotional transitions from being childless to becoming parents were more supportive and understanding of their wives, a major factor in protecting the marriage against the stress of rearing children.