You've just had a baby, like Jennifer Aniston in Friends, and you're supposed to feel ecstatic, confident and motherly. A baby is even supposed to help repair your relationship with your partner - at least according to the Friends script.

But if you're like nine out of 10 mothers, you feel tired and there's a good chance, according to US research, that you also feel messy, unsure, isolated, sad and confused. Your adult relationship is under intense pressure as you have less time and energy for intimacy.

The false Madonna image of motherhood is doing none of us any favours. I've yet to open a baby book that has an image of a new mother weeping with exhaustion while holding a crying baby who wakes every two hours. Babies are meant to be cared for communally. There's a unique bond between mother and baby, but ideally there are other family members around to give mother a break. In today's suburban bedroom communities, the mother may become isolated. No wonder prescriptions for anti-depressants have doubled in the past decade.