One in four of us has experienced domestic violence and mothers who are abused by their partners may also end up being abused by their children, says Claire Missen, counsellor with the Marriage and Relationships Counselling Service (MRCS).

When a woman leaves an abusive relationship with a partner, she should have counselling to help her overcome the behaviour patterns in herself that allowed abuse to be sustained. If she doesn't, she may find that one of her teenage children may take the role of abuser.

This abusive behaviour can be directed at the mother or at other children in the family.

Missen meets boys "full of anger" at being bullied by older sisters, who have been placed in a role that they cannot get out of. Often, this happens following marriage breakdown. On her own in the house with the children, the mother may continue to fear imposing limits and may not know how to be assertive. Even if she is living with a new partner, the new man in the house may not see his role as being one that involves disciplining the children.

Typically, an eldest child finds him or herself in the disciplinary role. This is too much for any teenager to take on, so the teenager may bully younger siblings into behaving properly. These siblings grow to hate the older brother or sister, isolating the sibling who has been placed in the parenting role.

Children parented by their siblings will often say: "My mother is lovely, but it's my sister who gets me in the neck".

Mothers who are bullied by their teenage daughters tend to be vulnerable, either through illness or depression.

In case you were wondering, this dynamic is as likely to happen in Dublin 4 as in working-class areas. Domestic violence knows no social class.

The trans-generational nature of domestic violence is just one reason why it is essential for parents, following separation, to take parenting classes. The Marriage and Relationships Counselling Service have a new session starting in April at a cost of €75. To sign up call: (01) 679 9341.