WHEN we think of teenagers, do we think of young people with idealism, hope determination and energy? These positive qualities are sometimes almost overlooked while the difficulties faced by young people and their parents may receive more attention.

Adolescence is not invariably a time of major emotional disturbance. Far from it. Most young people do not experience high levels of stress.

On the whole, teenagers are well disposed towards adults - they are less likely to express disapproval of adults than adults are of them.

Relationships between parents' and teenagers can be harmonious, as at any other stage, if approached constructively with a positive frame of mind. It would be a pity not to share and enjoy the years before your child leaves home and to miss the opportunity to keep in touch with young people in general and their zest for life.

However, there are difficulties associated with adolescence. Each stage of life has its own concerns and the teenage years are no exception.

Some of the problems that occur during adolescence are a response to the new demands of physical maturity and the challenge to be, a grown up, while others are a continuation of earlier difficulties.

During adolescence young people start to explore the world in a new way. There is growth and development in all areas - intellectual, physical, sexual, emotional and social.

Some of the psychological changes are related to physically maturing; teenagers have to come to terms with a whole range of changes in their bodies, at the same time as they are redefining who they are. Thus they can be vulnerable to comments about appearances - the body image that a young person develops in adolescence can last a lifetime.

Deeper friendships are possible as young people can, at this stage, understand better the views and feelings of others. Getting on well with peers is important, as it gives teenagers support.

AS PARENTS, we are naturally concerned about the kinds of friends our children choose. It is important to get to know your children's friends and to be aware of the sort of groups with which they are associating.

Encourage your children to bring their friends home and make an effort to get to know them. If you are worried about a friendship, talk to your child about it.

While peers have a major influence, most teenagers are attached to their homes in a very positive way. The majority of teenagers share their parents' views on major issues - differences are more likely to occur on minor issues, e.g., fashion, music, privileges.

A minority of young people acquire their values largely from outside the family; their peers to some extent tend to replace their parents as interpreters of the moral code.

The task of being a parent keeps changing as our children develop and become less dependent on us. By adjusting to the changing needs, we can help make our relationship more harmonious.

HOW CAN WE best create an atmosphere in which young people are helped to develop? Warm support helps them to develop their confidence and helps them to deal with uncertainties. If your son or daughter believes that your opinion is negative, she or he will become insecure and have low self esteem.

Talk and, in particular, listen to your teenagers. Ask for their opinion and advice. Listen to it and respect it, even if you don't agree. Being able to talk about personal and intimate matters with teenagers will depend upon a relationship of trust and good communication fostered in earlier years.

The more communication is the norm in your home, the easier it is for young people to express their feelings. If they are getting into difficulties and become secretive, withdrawn and uncommunicative, it will be more noticeable in such circumstances.

In adolescence young people are striving for independence. You can smooth the path from childhood to adolescence by giving your teenager the opportunity to play a part in making decisions. Involve them in family plans and decisions.

We need to give them scope for gradual change to independence. It can be helpful to have staged markers for growing up - give them the freedom to find the clothes, pastimes, companions of their choice. In doing this, we are helping them to separate from us and to form their own identity.

Teenagers need to have limits set, just as much as younger children do; set as few as possible and explain the reasons for them. Be realistic as well as reasonable.

Whenever possible, it is helpful to involve them in negotiating limits, but it is sometimes necessary to impose limits. Although young people will challenge the limits, they feel safest when working within limits - when they know how far they can go.

Disagreements about rules are bound to occur. We need to be able to separate minor from serious matters and to be flexible around minor issues - but to deal with serious issues quickly and firmly. Bringing up teenagers requires an openness to review one's own rules and judgments.

This does not mean giving in to all their opinions. Far from it. However, it does demand an ability to negotiate and compromise. This means both sides have to give a little.

Adolescence is an exciting period with lots of energy around. Encourage healthy, creative activities. Young people need stimulating ways of using up their energy and enthusiasm. Try to give support and encouragement, as far as possible, to positive activities in which your youngster is interested.

Teenagers need our company, instruction and support. They need to know that they can count on us for love and guidance, They also need opportunities to make decisions and to work things out for themselves.