In the early stages of her marriage Carmel Clarke-Mudrack didn't envisage anything more than being a good supportive wife and mother to her children.

Now separated, and chairperson of Gingerbread, the one-parent family association, she says that her involvement in the organisation has vastly broadened what she does with her life. "It has hugely changed my life in that I have developed skills and capacities that I wouldn't otherwise have tapped into. It has addressed my own personal development," she says. Carmel was elected chair of the Dublin branch in 1997 and her focus was on reintroducing family activities. She says that it gave them a much broader scope.

"We did the things we used to do anyway but we did them with a lot more people. The children had another circle of friends and I had adults to talk to. It was wonderful. "That following autumn we introduced art workshops and we used to do art and craft workshops on Saturday mornings, pre-Halloween, pre-Christmas, pre-Easter. "My two children were 11 and 14 at that stage. It gave them scope to bring their ideas in and to help others."

While adults meet on a Tuesday to discuss and share what ails or pleases them, the needs of the children are catered for in the form of Sunday outings where they can relate with others with similar family backgrounds.

Carmel says that that they treat the family outings as they would any group of friends, but, on occasion, "they are aware that these other children are going through the same experiences and do relate to one another."

Her involvement with Gingerbread has done a lot of good for Carmel's family. The highlight of her 14-year-old son Marcus's year is the annual Gingerbread holiday to the Tain Centre near Carlingford. She says that her 17-year-old daughter Beatrice has given a lot to it too: "She loves helping with organising events and being involved in the family side of things."

The ethos and aims that Gingerbread set out with, when it was founded 22 years ago, haven't changed much, says Carmel. Despite change in the environment, she notes that what a person experiences has not changed. People still go through the same type of emotions relating to the end of a relationship, coping with something they hadn't set out to do, she says. Carmel says that in the present economic environment people's lives have speeded up, and "family support in the generic sense isn't as available because where you have both parents working in a family there's a greater need of support now than ever."

The most difficult part of coping with separation is "you are not just addressing a situation that was planned. You are having to maintain rearing a family while addressing various different emotional issues that weren't foreseen." In particular she finds that when parents are going through a difficult time they may not be aware of the needs of the children at that time. "Being in a group of people where some have already found solutions, gives support to those who are coming in new," she adds.

In the early days of Gingerbread lone parents experienced stigma and shame and social isolation because of their domestic situation. Nowadays, Carmel says, it appears it still represents difficulties outside Dublin. "In Dublin it's not a stigma, but it's hardly an accomplishment either," she says, but it depends on the perspective of the individual involved. Having lived in Germany in the past Carmel believes that we are still not as at ease with lone parenting as they are.

The actual idea of the organisation is that people use it in order to move on. "There is a turnover of people who come in for a certain period of time and their lifestyle changes and they move on. But a number of people who came in at the same time as I did have stayed with it."

This happens when the parent becomes involved in organising, and it becomes so much a part of their life that they tend to stick with it for a number of years.

"It has been very good for me, personally, to open up and expand and do these things, but it is a struggle for the organisation to manage on these very limited resources. It's a constant struggle. It does depend hugely on voluntary input."