`It's embarrassing when men make remarks as you walk down the street, especially if you're by yourself. It's sort of degrading. I remember once, in fourth class, I was walking home from school when this disgusting old guy whistled at me and I was terrified.

"I mean, I know that sometimes guys can't tell if a girl is 14 or 18. But I don't like to think about it - of course it's repulsive, the idea that these old men would fancy me."

Sara is a grown-up looking 14, but still, of course, a child. She's slightly aware that older men - for which read anyone over 25 - might find her attractive, but pretty repelled by the idea.

And she doesn't like it when men - builders are the usual offenders - wolf-whistle, catcall or pass remarks as she walks down the street.

Nearly 30 years ago, in the early days of Women's Lib, how to react to men whistling at you in the street was a Big Issue. Feisty feminists had a range of smart girl-bites-wolf reactions designed to turn the tables - to see the biter bit.

Was it because we got older, because we realised there were more important concerns or because men stopped doing it so much that the issue faded? Have roles reversed so much that women leer at the opposite sex as openly as men? (All the same, it is noticeable in the clever Diet Coke ad that the women lust longingly but very quietly after the young Adonis posing outside their high-rise office window.)

Or was it always a young woman's issue? Mention being whistled at to a group of middle-aged women; many will laugh ruefully and say, "I'd be flattered." That was the consensus on a recent radio chat show on the topic; some older women argued that it was complimentary, but most teenage girls just didn't like it.

Is wolf-whistling an unstoppable force of nature, one of those things that will never change - no matter how PC we've become and no matter how feminist and confident our daughters seem to be? More to the point, if your daughter is annoyed or upset by it, what should you tell her?

Relationship counsellor and psychosexual therapist Mary O'Conor says that parents should listen carefully if their daughter complains about something like this, both to see what is actually happening, and how it is affecting her. It's well known that, on average, girls are reaching puberty a bit earlier; many young teenagers and even 11- or 12-year-olds, can look very grown up. Some of them are pleased with their new bodies, but many girls can be very self-conscious about their looks and will find even mild builder-style whistles excruciatingly embarrassing. "You should be aware of where your child is in puberty, aware if she's at the shy, awkward and gangly stage," O'Conor says. "Even in their early 20s, some girls can be shy and self-conscious."

There is a danger in parents overreacting and treating the matter too seriously, O'Conor says; she cautions against putting a "sexual harassment" interpretation on the most innocent of incidents. If the whistling is the kind of one-off event it usually is, you could reassure your child that it's just part of growing up and that the best way to handle it is to completely ignore it - since most men who do this are looking for some kind of reaction.

On the other hand, "I'd say if it happens more than once, from the same person or group, the child should confide in her parents, who could consider doing something about it."

After all, if it happens, say, on a route that the child must walk along to school, or if it's really bothering her, it's insensitive for parents to simply ignore the matter.

BUT WHAT SHOULD parents do? To some degree, your daughter's age will affect your reaction: girls who haven't even reached their teens shouldn't have to put up with this kind of attention.

If remarks are made more than once by the same person, if a pattern is building up, parents could consider taking action - perhaps talking to the adult concerned or, ultimately, discussing it with gardai.

The same advice, indeed, would apply for older girls: if a situation appears to be moving from tedious to annoying to threatening, a girl shouldn't have to tolerate it.

Surprisingly, this kind of situation doesn't appear to be discussed either in the Stay Safe programme in primary schools or in RSE (Relationships and Sexuality Education) classes.

Michael Slattery, an administrator with the organisation that devised the Stay Safe programme, agrees that wolf-whistling "is aggressive, in a way; if a child didn't feel comfortable on a particular street because of it, it is a form of bullying.

"I don't know if I'd call it `abuse', but if men or older boys are whistling at young girls, it would be inappropriate."

Slattery is not aware, he says, of the issue arising in primary-school Stay Safe discussions, although the topic of verbal abuse is covered in the programme.

Personally, he says, he'd advise a confident, assertive child to brush off a once-off wolf-whistling incident. A shyer, more self-conscious child, however, might need a little more advice on how to cope.

That advice, basically, is to ignore wolf-whistlers - to not visibly react at all.

David Gordon, Department of Education press secretary, was previously involved in setting up the RSE programme. He calls such behaviour "a macho thing", designed to get a reaction. "If you get five or six lads on top of scaffolding, one might say something, when by himself he wouldn't."

Although he's not aware of the topic coming up in classrooms, Gordon says it certainly could be discussed; it might be particularly useful for co-ed groups or boys to discuss it, to find out what girls really think about this kind of incident. (In fact, it's seldom boys of their own age who whistle at teenage girls - it seems it's usually older boys or men.) Gordon says: "RSE can help in the area of respect for each other."

Interestingly, both men and older women laughed when I brought up the topic with them: many men assume that girls like being flattered by complete strangers, while, as we've observed, many middle-aged women say they would be amused, even flattered to attract such male attention.

This irony is something men should know: many, perhaps most, women find this kind of male attention tedious or embarrassing - until they get to an age where it doesn't happen any more.

See also "The Advice Box", on the opposite page.