You're the parent of a teenager and you already know that in some ways, at least, you are a dire embarrassment. So how do teenagers want their parents to behave? Jay McGraw, 20-year-old author of Life Strategies for Teens (Simon and Schuster £9.99), has some suggestions.

Parents should be able to put up with this sort of thing:

Saturday, 1.05 p.m.: "Mother! I'm not a child! I am 15 years old and I don't need you running my life. I don't need you hovering over me. Give it a rest!"

Saturday, 6.15 p.m.: "I need £10. I'm out of mascara. And will you fix me something to eat? I'm starving. My friends will be here in an hour. And can I borrow your earrings?"

Teenagers need freedom, but they also want their parents to look after them. Teens are egocentric creatures who want their parents' devotion, but not their advice.

If you are one of those parents, here's your brief:

1) Listen to your child.

2) Stop treating your child like a toddler.

3) Never say: "you should have . . ."

4) Never talk about "when I was your age . . ."

5) Never counter a problem of your teenager's with a problem of your own.

6) Remember that your teen is an intelligent human being.

7) Don't give advice.

Your teenager's problem - if you. the parent, are doing the job properly - is that you are an unfeeling tyrant. Your problem is to convey to your teenager that you are a thinking, feeling human being who's been around the track once or twice. What to do?

Jay McGraw suggests that it's actually not the parent's problem. He thinks teens need to teach their parents to treat them differently.

"Even if your parents are being unreasonable, what are you going to do to change the way they treat you? You taught them how to treat you. Now all you have to do is teach them to treat you a different way."

His advice is based on the work of his father, Phililip C McGraw, author of the best-seller, Life Strategies and a regular guest on Oprah. The fact that father and son have such mutual respect is as good a recommendation as any for Jay McGraw's advice-book debut.

If you like what you've heard so far, I suggest you leave the book lying around the house. It would make a great discussion document for second-level classes as well.