Childcare, childminders, how to find one, a perfect one, anyone . . . If there weren't enough trials and torments in a parent's life, finding someone to do the job with you seems all but impossible. Indeed, if Hollywood is anything to go by, the only good childminder is daddy in drag. But of course it's not, and media reports on nannies from hell and so on and so forth are all an extreme, if not distorted, version of the childcare arena. Angela Canavan is co-ordinator of information services with the National Children's Resource Centre. "What you're really looking for as a parent is how to create a relationship between the parents, childminder and children based on mutual respect and good communication," she says. Increasingly, people working with children have State-recognised qualifications that cover areas such as health and safety and child development, which is reassuring for parents. However, while the Child Care Act 1991 does have a section which looks at regulating pre-school services, childminders looking after fewer than three children are specifically exempt. Under the auspices of the Department of Justice, Equality and Law Reform, an expert working group on childcare is devising a national framework for the development of childcare facilities. The report from the group, due at the end of the year, is expected to address this anomaly and make recommendations. Meanwhile, parents and childminders alike have to contend with an unregulated service. "The lack of regulation gives rise to a number of difficulties," Canavan says. "It's a concern for parents, but it is equally contentious for childminders themselves. There is no set fee, for instance - it depends entirely on an arrangement negotiated between parents and the minder. Childminders rarely get sick pay or holiday pay, even if it's the family that goes away on holiday. Nor do they have their stamps paid. "The failure to regulate this area shows a complete disregard for the work childminders do and reflects the low status they are accorded by society. Even some parents themselves have the attitude `sure, it isn't a real job and isn't she lucky to have the extra bit of money'. But the fact of the matter is that parents and childminder are the most important people in the child's life. Ideally, parents and childminders should be working in partnership together."

Valuing the work of the childminder is essential to such a partnership. "A childminder is entitled to be treated as well as any employee. It is important to acknowledge how hard the job can be - maybe even offer her a day off now and again," Canavan says. "Most importantly, before parents interview prospective minders, they should sit down and examine their day at home. This gives you both a good idea of what you need from the childminder and how fair your expectations are. What can you cope with yourself? That's all you should ask anyone to cope with."

The job of a childminder is to take care of children, to stimulate them and meet their needs - which might include cooking and bringing them to the swimming pool or a friend's party, she says. Any extra work should be seen as an extra job, and remunerated accordingly. "If the childminder is under too much pressure, it will impact negatively on the children, the same as any parent who is under too much pressure. To avoid any problems down the line, it is best to be very clear about what you expect, what your attitudes are to issues such as behaviour, television or sweets, and discuss with the minder her feelings on those issues. "It is also important that the parents agree with each other. I often have calls from minders who have to try to please a mum and a dad who are completely at odds with one another."

Despite ALL the effort put into good communication and mutual respect, kids will be kids and they'll always find something to have a bit of a moan about. "You can't expect a totally rosy, hassle-free relationship between the minder and the children," Canavan says. "Kids and minders alike will have their off days, but there is a difference between this sort of normal human behaviour and unhappiness. Do listen to the children if they complain an awful lot, and make the odd unannounced visit. At the same time, if the minder tells you the child has had a particularly bad day, it is very important to listen to her as well. If you don't take her seriously, or behave as if you don't want to hear about her problems, she won't tell you about difficulties which have come up that may be the first signs of illness, for example."

Good communication, realistic expectations, respect and recognition of the value of the childminder's work all go a long way to ensuring good quality care. However, according to Canavan, the State also has a role to play in guaranteeing that childcare works. "All childcare workers should be registered," she says. "As long as there is no system of registration for childminders, their job will not be perceived as a real job, and there will be no method of establishing and implementing good standards of care."