IT COULD HARDLY be described as a happening session. In fact, by Wednesday morning, things were so bad that one delegate expressed fears for the TUI's hard-won reputation as a USI for adults.

Luckily, he was soon to be proved wrong. High on a charge of caffeine and digestive biscuits, delegates tore into the issue of casualisation and part time working. This was rapidly followed by a tasty dessert - consisting of a morsel of Minister, elegantly packaged in a red suit.

Here, the charge was led by the redoubtable Alice Prendergast, whose experience as soccer ref had stood to her throughout the congress, which she chaired with aplomb. She was not slow to use the yellow card, and even the red, when delegates, obviously offside, went for the microphone.

Amid the flood off motions, amendments, rules, orders and referrals, there was one pure Hamlet moment, as the chairperson of the credit union made his yearly astronomical forecast. Last year, he advised members to join and hitch their fortunes to a rising star. This year, he said joining the credit union was tantamount to hitching up to Hale-Bopp. The credit union was blazing an ever more spectacular trail.

Meanwhile, some delegates had their gaze firmly fixed on matters terrestrial. On the in-service subsistence issue, one fiscally minded delegate told congress that, if increased payments are made (the present level is £12.07 overnight with 12p per mile), delegates might be able to leave their sleeping bags behind. But, they would probably still have to bring the cream crackers and cheese.

And on the pressing matter of sleeping arrangements, another delegate suggested the provision of on-site facilities to combat being knackered might be a good idea. On-site snooze rooms for staff would be a help, especially for young staff members with babies, he told delegates.

It was not clear if the babies could reside in the snooze rooms, or if the rooms would simply provide welcome relief from the traumas of the classrooms, staffrooms and nappy-filled homes.

In between all the unbridled revelry, delegates also had to put in some serious hard work, chomping through the official lunches and dinners. Who can argue with teachers when they talk of stress, stress, stress?