UM, HE followed me home - can I keep him?" This or a similar entreaty is often your first introduction to a new kitten or puppy in your household.

While many children are wary of animals, some children just love them. While you may fall for the little fella yourself, you may not be wild about the idea of housetraining it; you may wonder what its arrival will mean in the long term. However, bear in mind that dogs and cats are much faster at learning toilet training than children, and responsive pets such as puppies and kittens can make children feel loved, secure and important.

Choosing a pet should be an informed choice. But if you've got the time, space and money (fish only cost a few pence a week, but many small pups grow into big hungry dogs) according to the experts there are plenty of benefits for your child. He or she will enjoy stroking furry animals because it feels pleasurable and the animal obviously enjoys it too. Children enjoy talking to their pets - probably partly because they don't answer back and never nag - and while kittens or puppies may scratch or nip occasionally when young and untrained, they learn very quickly.

Caring for a pet - feeding, grooming and, where relevant, exercising - can give immense satisfaction. Pets generally are non-judgmental; dogs in particular are loyal and non-critical, which can be of immense importance to a youngster who's learning that the rest of the world is not necessarily so.

However, no sooner do you mention to friends that you are thinking of getting a pet than you begin to hear awful tales of animals attacking children or terrible diseases passed from pets to babies. It's enough to put you off altogether.

According to the experts, there is no need to panic if you stick to a few simple guidelines.

Whatever the age your child is, and however enthusiastic he is about caring for and feeding his pet at first, you must be prepared to look after it yourself. Get the child involved in the cleaning and feeding from the word go, so that he knows it is his responsibility, but bear in mind that children don't always remember to look after a pet's daily requirements and it's not fair to let the pet suffer if they forget.

Dogs and cats make it fairly obvious if they haven't been fed; others, such as goldfish, can do very little about it.

It's vital to get a pet that suits your household. A friend's family had an unfortunate history with pets: two goldfish died from over-enthusiastic feeding and a hamster died of fright from simply being love-bombed. Finally they got a robust little kitten who is now a large, sleek, much-petted cat.

If you have a small garden and your child isn't yet big enough to take a dog for long walks, a small dog that gets enough exercise running around the garden on its own is a good choice. Or perhaps a cat (which sleeps up to 18 hours each day and so makes a good companion for a teenager), a fish or a bird would suit better?

Think realistically about the amount of care involved and choose a pet that you will enjoy rather than one which you will resent looking after. Talk to other parents who've been there and done that.

Dogs will happily learn basic training - how to lie down, sit, stay and not jump up. It may be funny in a puppy, but a big dog that jumps up can knock over a small child causing injury. Puppies need teething toys so they don't use your shoes or the furniture.

Cats need a scratching pole so they don't use the chairs and upholstery.

But it's not just the pets who need training. While animals and children have happily co-existed in or around nearly every household until a few generations back, many children today rarely encounter them, so you'll have to teach your children how to handle animals. They need to understand that they are living, feeling creatures, not toys. Don't let them haul their pets around. Teach them how to pat dogs and stroke cats. If your child has a gerbil, hamster or guinea pig, explain how they need gentle handling. It is easy to smother such a pet with love by taking him in and out of the cage every few minutes and passing him from one person to another, but this can make him nervy for the rest of his life or even make him die of fright.

BUY OR BORROW a book on pet care. One mum had a budgie in her house which was her son's delight (and for which he had campaigned for some time) but she had not been told that birds need grit to digest food; it was only when the bird was on its penultimate peep that she learned from someone else what was needed.

While a pet's death is inevitable eventually - and a valuable way of learning about this aspect of life - the family was devastated by his early demise.

Apart from everyday care such as feeding, watering and keeping bedding clean, you need to keep your pet up-to-date with appropriate injections, worming and de-fleaing. Dogs and cats should be given vaccinations by the vet within the first three months of life and before they mix with other animals.

Children can catch worms and other infections from cats and dogs, so it is important to take this advice seriously.

You also have to scoop up any dog or cat pooh from the lawn and dispose of it and teach your children not to touch it. (If you are pregnant, wear rubber gloves when handling cat litter trays.) Also if you have a sandpit you'll need to keep it covered when the children aren't playing in it to stop cats using it as a litter tray.

Don't ever let a small baby and your cat or dog share toys. The pets' toys are their own, just as the baby has his or her own.

While some families seem to let the dog or cat become a complete family member - down to sleeping on the bed and being given a stocking at Christmas - you need to draw the line at allowing pets to eat from dishes used by you and yours - and never let your child kiss his or her pet on or near the nose or mouth. Just think of where that nose has been.

Most households with pets get along well, with children having fun as well as learning to care for others. The only problem is that if your children really start to respect and care for animals in a big way, you may find your household begins to resemble Noah's Ark.

When the noise and activity gets too much and they start to drive you stark staring mad, just gaze at the fish or stroke the dog. It's supposed to do wonders for lowering your blood pressure . . .