EXAM DIARY:SOME HURLERS on the ditch have complained that for a Leaving Cert diarist, I don't spend a lot of time talking about the Leaving Cert.

GAA, the Lions, Aidan O’Shea – now those are my real areas of expertise.

However, since the good people of The Irish Times did commission an exam commentary, I thought I would take this opportunity to briefly fulfil the brief (with a little help from a poet friend of mine – thanks Louise!):

LEAVING CERTIFICATE 2009

(For Mr Killer, Big Bird and Aunt Bríd’s profiteroles).

English 1 was a lot of fun,

But English 2 caused a hullabaloo

When a man in Louth gave the game away

And the poets moved to the Sabbath day.

The ordinary people raised their hats

To accessible, doable ornery maths

While the higher monkeys in the tree

Fell foul of probability.

I’m not a man who’s easy to shake,

But geography caused a minor quake.

I demand a sincere apology –

What happened to geo-ecology?

No one thought Irish was gonna dish up

Another ovation to Desmond Bishop –

And he only after coming up on the mocks!

Did the super open last year’s box?

’Coz the lads in my class thought it was great

That a question from LC 2008

Was taken down off a dusty shelf.

The History of Irish repeating itself.

It popped up, verbatim, on paper 2

A double helping of déjà vu.

Speaking of French, I’d rather not

I won’t be speaking another mot.

I don’t know much about history

But my best mate’s hands are all blistery.

I predict no earthquakes or New York comics

On next week’s accounting or economics.

It’s all over now, til I hit Castlebar

With Mr Killer, you know who

you are.

Thanks for reading my Irish Times column.

See you all when we beat Roscommon!

Aidan O’Shea is a student at St Gerald’s Castlebar and an inter- county footballer with Mayo. This is his final exam diary entry.

He will be writing about his results in mid-August.