WHEN she was 14 years of age Helen's school days came to an end. Her mother, who was a victim of alcoholism, was taken in to hospital and Helen was forced to stay at home to care for her two younger brothers and her father. The youngest child, 18 month old Stephen, was severely handicapped and suffered from both spina bifida and hydrocephalus.

"At first I liked the idea of staying at home and minding the house," recalls Helen. "It made me feel grown up and in charge. Daddy was out at work all day and he brought the shopping home, but I did everything else - the cooking, the cleaning, getting my younger brother off to school and feeding, bathing and dressing Stephen. Daddy took over when he came home, but I was always there."

The young teenager quickly found that being alone with a handicapped toddler in an isolated house in the country was a terrifying experience.

"We didn't get any help from anyone. My Granny used to visit us occasionally but she wasn't able to do much. One day a welfare officer came to take Stephen away, but the day he called, Granny was with me so he went away and we never heard from him again."

Eventually, her mother returned home and at the age of 15 years Helen obtained work as a shop assistant, but never managed to free herself from the strain and the worry.

"When I came home from work, I used to take over from Mammy. She was drinking and the doctor had her on nerve tablets. I started to take time off work - weeks at a time - and then I gave it up altogether...

"I didn't resent giving up school or work - I felt I had no choice - but I did resent Mammy drinking and the strain she put on us because Stephen was so handicapped. Even when I was out at work I used to worry about what I'd find when I got home."

Although Helen's brother was only three years her junior he was never called upon to help, she says. Feeling angry about her lot made her feel guilty. "I felt I had no right to complain," she says.