‘I’m too much trouble for everyone’

TBH: A parent writes:My 15-year-old son has autism, exacerbated by verbal dyspraxia, severe receptive language difficulty and an IQ of 69, just inside the level that means he is officially intellectually disabled. He cannot functionally read or write above the level of a four-year old, tie his shoelaces or play team games. He finds it difficult to follow complex instructions like game rules. He also has motor problems – major and minor – and does not understand many of the norms of social interaction.

On entering secondary school he was allocated a full-time SNA and five hours of one-to-one sessions with a resource teacher working on literacy and numeracy skills. The rest of the time his SNA would help him follow the mainstream classes as best he could. This September, faced with cuts in special needs provision, Andrew returned to school to find that the principal, in reallocating reduced SNA provision, had decided he was “over-resourced” and had slashed his SNA support to 25 per cent of what it had been.

He then had to spend much of his time in mainstream classes trying to follow what was being taught without the help he had before. He was unable to take down instructions from the blackboard or to use any printed sheets or textbooks, for instance. He was bewildered by what was happening to him. He began to feel more keenly how none of the mainstream children wanted to talk or play with him. He was accused of being lazy following a “bust-up” between him and some of his classmates who resented that Andrew did not do as much school work as they did. Within four weeks he had become worryingly depressed. The teacher we attempted to discuss the situation with was uncomfortable and defensive. It began to be hinted that his problems were behavioural rather than actual. On the way to school on his last morning there he said to his Dad: “it would be better if I didn’t exist – I’m too much trouble for everyone at school”.

He couldn’t stay in that environment a single day longer. We went to the school with flowers and thank-yous for the support Andrew had had from his SNA and other teachers, determined to finish his school days on as pleasant a note as possible in spite of the circumstances. When we described how Andrew was feeling and what he had said, the principal declared icily “that’s not an educational issue”. We agreed afterwards that our decision to home educate him was an imperative rather than a choice. So much for cherishing the children of the nation equally. We are faced with an enormous undertaking, we realise, but the many sacrifices we will have to make will be more than worth it if we can do for our son what the Irish education system has effectively put beyond his reach.

This column is designed to give a voice to those within the education system who wish to speak out anonymously. Contributions are welcome at sflynn@irishtimes.com

This article was first published on theantiroom.com, where you can read the full version