Flying high over the Alps on my way home from holidays I was seated next to a bright young home economics teacher. We exchanged pleasantries, and later engaged in serious dialogue. She has been teaching in five different schools in as many years. I have been teaching in three different academies in 30 years. Together we came up with a very plausible theory about staff relations.

It goes as follows. In schools in deprived areas, where pupils are undisciplined, use bad language, verbally abuse their teachers, ignore homework and wage a constant war against authority there is a remarkable bonding among the staff. A lively relaxed atmosphere prevails in the staffroom, and a wonderfully palpable air of co-operation pertains therein. Conversely, in "posh" schools in middle-class areas, where pupils always wear their uniforms, obey the bell, abide by the rules, there is a cold, distant, indifferent, almost hostile ambience among the gown-clad pedagogues. Maybe the altitude affected our logic, but now that I'm back on terra firma I can see that our academy doesn't fit into either category. We're on a different plane, so to speak.

We are all glad to be back, and we note with great joy that our pupils seem to have immersed themselves in their work with greater ease and far more alacrity than heretofore. We figure it's because of the long, hot summer - and the old Shakespearean adage: "If all the year were playing holidays to sport would be tedious as to work". The staff, too, have a spring in their steps because we have a brand new caretaker, a brand new secretary, and, making history in our establishment, a brand new remedial teacher.

Things are looking up. Little wonder then that we face the new millennium with a smile on our faces. Already we are planning projects of gargantuan proportions. "Think big" is our new motto. The exuberance of youth and the extravagance of middle age. What a formidable alliance.