"NO ONE ELSE in my class is asked to wash up, or mind their little brothers. And they're never asked to cook anything for the whole family," sulks John, an indignant (but very competent) 15 year old, as he washes dishes with bad grace.

How much do teenagers help around the house? Do the majority seldom lift a finger to help - or is that just what they say to their mates? An informal survey indicates that while a few parents have given up asking their teenagers to do anything round the house, many teenagers will, with varying degrees of cajoling, do certain chores.

Loading the dishwasher, drying dishes - washed by someone else - and tidying and/or cleaning their own rooms seem to be acceptable. However, performing household chores which do not relate directly to them seems to be outside some teenagers' job descriptions.

A lot depends, it seems, on when they were first given such responsibility. Denise is a mother of six children aged from 11 to 21: "We have a rota system for drying the dishes (which my husband washes) after the evening meal, and the children are supposed to make arrangements with one another if they are going out. That generally works, though every so often someone forgets to sort it out before they head off.

"They all have to make their beds, except for the 11 year old, and at the weekends they each have to do polishing, dusting or hoovering.

"You get the usual grumpiness now and again. We have a back boiler and the boys have to bring in the turf every day and occasionally there are complaints - `Why can't the girls do it?' If I'm very busy with my own work and I ask them to help out, they will, but they'd never think of doing it themselves.

Maeve has four children: "I had them helping out from about three years - making their beds, putting toys away, learning to lay the table. They take it for granted they have to do their bit. My two teenagers vacuum and dust their rooms, and wash up or load the dishwasher and hang out clothes on the line. They also clean other rooms on Monday, which is our general clean up day. I do get the `no one in my class is asked to do anything, like this routine, but I just say `that's a pity'." Marjorie has three teenage boys who make cups of coffee but do little else around the house. "I wouldn't ask them to," she says. "I like to look after them, I like to cook and make sure they eat well. I look after the clothes and ironing and all of that and of course cleaning the house. I gave them each a laundry bag, but to be honest the dirty clothes usually end up on the floor. But sure I won't have them for long."

Paul Andrews, in his book Changing Children (Gill & Macmillan), suggests attitudes like Marjorie's may hinder children in the long run: "If mother is doing everything for her children, what is she doing to them? They are learning nothing about how much time and effort and skill are needed to keep a household going. They are taking a great deal for granted... They're missing out on the feeling of accomplishment... There are several skills they could learn but do not."

It's not just in the home that these basic skills are needed; they are the first steps towards independent living. E&L asked a students' accommodation officer how domesticated third level students are. "Ninety per cent of them haven't a clue! They don't know you put away dishes when they're washed, they use only the frying pan and the grill and never clean the dish under the grill. They think the floor mop is simply decorative, none of them ever defrosts a fridge and cleaning the loo is strictly for the honours course!

"About half do their own laundry (at the launderette) and the rest bring it home to mum.

"The young men are definitely worse than the women. I think both they and their mums would benefit from them doing more at home before they go to college.

Catering manager Cathy Addis agrees that skills and responsibilities learned at home make a difference to young people starting out in her line of work. "Enthusiasm and interest are the key factors in my area. In every job there are bits you are less keen on, but if students simply buckle down and do it it makes everything so much easier. You get some who say `I don't want to do that,' and in a busy professional kitchen there just isn't time for that attitude."

"Sharing the chores around the house should be part of family participation," writes Wendy Grant in 13 to 19 - a parent's guide to understanding teenage years (Element).

"When I was working and most of my children were teenagers, I returned home one evening to find them watching TV with absolutely nothing done. The room looked as if a bomb had hit it; dishes were piled up in the kitchen, and the bathroom basin was covered in a thin film of mud.

"When I protested, one son said, `It's no good going on at us Mum. We Just don't see it. If you want us to do something, tell us.'"

Wendy and her children sat down and worked out a comprehensive list and the system worked. "It may sound incredible that teenage children don't notice mess and dirty dishes," she writes, "but they often really don't... In doing jobs at home, the children have the opportunity to learn how to become efficient in their movements and with their time. The experience will also prepare them for life in the outside world."