Most parents want what is best for their children and try to be good parents. Yet sometimes we may get confused along the way in day-to-day life - our priorities get mixed up. It always helps if we stand back and take a good look at our life with our family and ask ourselves: "What do I really want for my children?"

Many parents may simply answer: "I want my children to be happy and fulfilled."

The root of all of our needs is love. To achieve inner peace, happiness and self-respect we need to have love.

Aristotle said: "Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence." This happiness is not something another person or experience can necessarily give us, but a happiness generated inside of us.

This is very difficult for parents to give their children. How do you teach inner happiness? We as parents can give our children everything we can, but how can we guide them to the right path to achieve happiness and contentment within their little lives?

Stress, anxiety, guilt and worry cause a lot of unhappiness, so perhaps by eliminating these from our lives we can cultivate within our family a "habit of happiness", instead of encouraging feelings of guilt. This is a tall order: before we can rid our children's lives of these culprits of unhappiness, we must first rid them from our own. Wanted: expert, cook, cleaner, nurse, psychologist, teacher, creative play helper; must be selfless, loving and willing to work 24 hours a day seven days a week. Salary: nil. Contract negotiable only after 18 years.

Would you apply for this job? Parenting demands an unreasonable level of commitment in both time energy and emotion.

It sounds ridiculous, but many parents - especially mothers - expect to do this much work and more, putting untold pressure on themselves.

Motherhood is extraordinarily demanding, both physically and emotionally. Add in trying to organise a home and/or career - exhaustion can ensue and lead to a stressed-out mother, wracked by feelings of frustration and anxiety, coupled with the emotion of guilt because she is not coping better.

All too often, mothers make impossible demands on themselves. Babies and children inevitably need lots of attention and mothers' needs tend to get put on hold.

Why do many mothers find it difficult to feel they are entitled to time to themselves? Why do they feel selfish or guilty about looking after themselves? This is potentially a dangerous situation, and is very short-sighted, as ignoring our own needs leads to stress, anxiety and unhappiness.

By trying too hard, you may end up being too tired to relax and be happy with your children - and therefore actively encourage them to be stressed out, just like you!

What about Dad? Well to be honest, some women are their own worst enemies when it comes to encouraging fatherly involvement. There should be a set time every week or day when father takes over responsibility for the family. Parenting should be shared as equally as possible - and thankfully more fathers are doing so now. It lets him know what it is like and gives chances for one-to-one bonding.

Both parents need "me" time. Discuss it and work out how you can achieve it together.

I do not pretend, as a mother of four, that making time for yourself is easy. Here are some good reasons to try - without feeling guilty about it.

Everyone needs to re-charge their batteries - the more relaxed you are the better for everybody in the family.

If you devote your life to your children this puts too much pressure on them. They may feel overwhelmed with the responsibility for the parent's happiness.

Every couple needs time alone to just be a couple, otherwise the relationship will suffer. A loving parent relationship is great for a child's happiness.

Although a child may love being with you all the time, she or he needs time with others too, to acquire confidence and social skills.

You are the vital role-model - if you look after yourself and become contented and happy, there is a good chance they will too.

Go have a long walk, take a luxurious bath, meet a friend for lunch - enjoy yourself! Below are a few practical tips to help you.

Swap babysitting with a friend or neighbour, taking care of each other's children alternately for one half-day a week.

Many clubs, classes and churches have some sort of creche facilities now. If not, ask why. Join with other mothers to fund a childminder while you all exercise, go shopping or whatever.

Find a nanny to share, if you cannot afford one full-time. Or an au pair may give you that extra vital time you need for yourself.

Use a local playgroup or childminder - don't feel guilty.

Get a regular babysitter and book her to come once a week, so you can have special time as a couple.

There are other - perhaps not so popular - ways for you to make extra time: cheat a bit, who cares!

Don't iron those clothes - fold them straight from the dryer.

Don't be fastidious; don't hoover every day - pick the obvious bits from the carpet only. So what!

Forget the elaborate dinner. Get a ready-made dinner at times, sprinkle a little cheese on the top and stick on a piece of parsley. Who'll know? Obviously you don't want to live like this all the time. Just take the pressure off yourself sometimes - get a life, as the saying goes. Make sure to designate 30 minutes at least a day to yourself: "Doing Nothing Time". Get switched off, get comfortable and relax. Isn't life wonderful? Be happy and share it with your children.