Jim was in a seminary for years. He is regarded as "Mr Nice Guy" in the staffroom. He has a special affinity with weak classes and usually ends up with a number of them for religion. The women on the staff have a special affection for him as he has such a gentle and kind nature. They also love to hear his stories of life in the seminary.

One of his favourite stories is that of his final year before ordination when the professor of homiletics was teaching the class how to construct a good sermon. "Never tell a joke from the pulpit," was the stern advice. "Remember, your job is to feed the sheep - not amuse the goats."

Jim often thought of that advice when faced by a class of budding atheists. Once when big, burly, Murphy - the bane of his life - challenged him as to how he could prove all these Catholic beliefs, Jim let his frustration get the better of him by blurting out, "Die, Murphy, Die!"

Without being one bit offensive, Jim often thinks about how life has come full circle, with much of his time now spent "amusing the goats". The "sheep" are well-fed in honours classes, and if the grass is not luscious enough for them, their parents can afford to send them to farms where they are force-fed over a few weeks at Christmas and Easter. But teachers like Jim have to become actors and every class is a challenge as to which "gimmick" will keep the students' attention for at least half the allotted time.

In every staffroom there are teachers who can contain the disaffected students and discourage them from becoming "early graduates". Such teachers are even more valuable to a school than those who help their students get a string of As in honours English. League tables do not threaten them because they are just as pleased when their students get a pass in alternative mathematics as those teachers are whose students achieve the magical 600 points.

Jim's class struggles with alternative mathematics. Imagine teaching them religion last class on a Friday! Jim could have been a bishop by now, tending his flock and leading them to greater things. Who is to say that his present work will not be instrumental in bringing more "amused goats" to graze in heavenly pastures.