DÁIL SKETCH:TODAY IS the last day. Eleven years of mangled explanations. Eleven years of frustrating oppositions. Eleven years of that self-deprecating grin and helpless shrug. Eleven years of ruling the roost. It ends today.
In reality, Bertie Ahern's last full session of Leaders' Questions took place yesterday. Most of this morning's Dáil business will be taken up with tributes to him.
There will be some questions, but it's hardly likely that Enda or Eamon will rip into the Taoiseach at the beginning of proceedings and then blithely waltz into the glowing compliments.
They've both been around long enough to know the drill.
Bertie knows it too, although it was still strange to hear him notifying the house during the Order of Business that "statements shall be made tomorrow immediately after Leaders' Questions by way of tribute to An Taoiseach on his leaving office".
It could be argued he was in his Bertie the Bystander mode for the last time, outlining what was going to be said about some guy who is in charge of the country.
He sounded a bit self-conscious as he read the notice, racing through the words as quickly as he could.
Then he got to the bit where he had to announce the topic for discussion during Private Members' Business.
It was a motion on "neurology and.." - Bertie took a deep breath and went for it - "clinical neurophisilotocity".
Then he sat down, a rueful smile on his face.
No, we hadn't a clue what he meant either and already getting nostalgic.
It was a typical Leaders' Questions to round off his career. Two long questions on the health service from an angry Enda Kenny neutralised by two long recitations of statistics from Bertie Ahern.
Perhaps in preparation for today, Enda was already coming over all rose-tinted.
He told the Taoiseach he had a "more caring" attitude than the Tánaiste to questions about individuals with health problems.
A clue as to what road the Fine Gael leader might be taking with the incoming, hard-hearted, head of Government: step forward Baron Biffo (Hiss! Boo!).
Labour's Joan Burton, standing in for Eamon Gilmore, got very worked up about the rate of inflation.
Unfortunately, this involved her mentioning the economy, which, in turn, opened the door for Bertie to waffle away about all the great things his governments have done for it.
Needless to say, he mentioned the old age pension at the first opportunity.
Joan, meanwhile, had moved on to the scandalous euro mark-ups on British goods sold here.
Gillette Mach Turbo razor blades are far dearer than they are in the North, and as for wardrobes, the mark-ups are "astonishing".
"Buy Irish," shouted Meath FF deputy Thomas Byrne, forgetting to mention that Navan is only an hour from Dublin.
Bertie's heart wasn't really in it when he replied. Couldn't really blame him.
Earlier, during Taoiseach's questions, a favourite topic surfaced for old times' sake: Government jets. The Ministerial Air Transport Services, or "De Mats" as Bertie refers to them.
Such a heap of rusty old junk.
He'll be glad when he's out of the place and can travel in proper luxury.
The Gulfstream lV jet is still in operation, he pointed out, although it is 16 years old and has 11,000 flying hours on the clock. "I'm told there's not an aircraft in the world - and the third world - that's done that amount of hours."
"A bundle of scrap," suggested Cork's PJ Sheehan (FG).
"We can't even sell it for scrap," retorted Minister for Europe Dick Roche, who would be familiar with the various aircraft.
Bertie moved on to the four-year-old Lear jet, which is used for short to medium trips.
"It has its faults in it, because you can't stand up…and it doesn't have a toilet…but apart from that."
"Even I can't stand up in it," grumbled wee Willie O'Dea.
"The CASA is used now and again, if you have your ear muffs," continued Bertie wearily.
As for the Beachcraft, "after two minor fires" it isn't used much.
He didn't even get to the subject of helicopters.
All in all, a terrible hardship for the Taoiseach, these last 11 years. He sounds terribly jaded by it all.
Maybe it's just as well a new guy is coming in.