Empire strikes back to cement legend of Bertie

The counter-offensive has begun

The counter-offensive has begun. When Fianna Fáil backs are to the wall, there is no sound more comforting than the onwards rumble of the mighty Cowen, marching as to war. Biffo in full battle mode is a formidable foe.

Michael McDowell's mind-boggling intervention yesterday morning on the Bertie Ahern payments controversy threatened to send Fianna Fáil's election campaign spinning further into chaos.

But three hours later, Brian Cowen's assured and measured handling of the situation halted the slide.

For sure, good news for Fianna Fáil. But maybe just a little alarming for the Taoiseach.

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Interestingly, as journalists filed out from the press conference, there was more talk about Brian's leadership potential than there was about Bertie's house rental agreement and soft furnishing bills.

Three Government Ministers were rolled out at election headquarters for the official launch of the party's campaign to fast-track the canonisation of the blessed Bertie. But this was Brian's gig - Dermot Ahern and Micheál Martin were little more than adornments.

They pulled out all the stops for St Bartholomew of the Hanging Baskets, painting a compelling picture of a nasty Opposition trying to do a decent man down.

By the time they finished, Joan of Arc was in the ha'penny place compared to poor Bertie, who is being burned at the stake by sinister, systematic leakers and a vengeful media.

The top-level trio did their boss proud. While Bertie tootled around his constituency hoovering up sympathy from clucking constituents, his lieutenants set about cementing the legend.

Compared to PD leader and Tánaiste Michael McDowell, who earlier presided over a chaotic press conference, spreading confusion and conjecture in equal measure, his senior partners in Government looked confident and in control.

Unlike the grand old Duke of York, who at least showed his troops the consideration of marching them back down the hill, the eminent silk of south Dublin marched his divided troops to the top of the hill, and left them there.

On Saturday night, all indications were that the Progressive Democrats were going to resign from the Government. Early-morning text messages informed the media that the party was holding a press conference in the Morrison Hotel. Cue the usual scramble, and a large expectant crowd was waiting when Minister McDowell swept in.

Michael read his statement, which essentially conveyed the message that he feels Bertie Ahern sold him a pup last year when filling him in on his personal finances. Accordingly, he called for "a credible and comprehensive public statement" from the Taoiseach in relation to these matters.

Clearly, the Tánaiste is piqued to the very last inch of his pinstripes. The Progressive Democrats had to "insist" that the Taoiseach would address the issue.

If he didn't, he would have no credibility when seeking a further term as Taoiseach from the Dáil.

No shilly-shallying there. Michael threw open the floor to questions, very few of which he was prepared to answer.

Was he saying Bertie lied to him? "The Taoiseach didn't lie to me. He didn't tell me something which was expressly untrue." So spill the beans. What do you know? Michael intimated darkly that if he'd known what he knows now then he would have not stated what he stated then knowing what he knows now. Or something like that.

The journalists were getting frustrated. None more so than Charlie Bird, who had informed the nation on Saturday night, on strong indications from party sources, that the PDs were definitely going to walk.

"You have all the material I have, and I challenge you to deny that," said the Minister, who seems to think that anybody in Dublin with an NUJ card has full possession of the transcripts of the Taoiseach's conversations with the Mahon tribunal.

In the course of a bizarre spat between Charlie and the Minister, the RTÉ reporter revealed an interesting nugget. Apparently, the transcript which Michael McDowell's assistant was shown was contained "in a clear duvet bag with 'allergy' written on the side." Honest to God. We're not making this up.

As this surreal event was taking place, Bertie Ahern was in his State car on the way home from Mass. It was being broadcast live by Newstalk, and the Taoiseach, like a bride who has arrived too early at the church, told his driver to go slowly and take the longer route back.

Back at the hotel, the Tánaiste, who knows what he knows but is refusing to tell, rejected charges that his sudden crisis of confidence with Bertie was all about PD fears of election meltdown.

"I am not imploding," declared Michael, who spent much of last week protesting: "I am not a mini-tribunal." So what did the opposition make of this? Enda Kenny and Fine Gael delayed their press conference on MRSA in hospitals to consider the matter. The health briefing was to take place in an upstairs room in their election headquarters, but, given that this was a leadership situation, the microphones were moved down to the impressive vestibule in Fitzwilliam Hall.

Enda descended a white marble staircase to stand in front of the cameras, a huge antique mirror on the landing forming a classy backdrop. It was like a smaller version of the spot in Government Buildings where Bertie stands when he wants to speak as a statesman.

It was a little disconcerting to see six medical doctors standing around Enda - they were in for the MRSA bit. Then the burglar alarm went off, and the Fine Gael leader and attending doctors waited, as if the siren was from an approaching ambulance and they were awaiting incoming casualties.

The briefing was abandoned. Everyone hared off to Fianna Fáil to witness Biffo's tour de force. Bertie, it transpires, has discovered new information about his personal finances. The money business will be cleared up soon, promised Brian.

The real issue was the continuing persecution of blessed Bertie of the Hanging Baskets of Beresford. He is the most popular politician in the country, said Minister Cowen. The only way the Opposition can win the election is to "take down Bertie Ahern".

Afterwards, Enda Kenny and Pat Rabbitte said they don't care a whit about the Taoiseach's money. As for Tánaiste McDowell, his press conference was "a plea for attention". Are they not worried that Bertie Ahern will get a favourable "bounce" if people think he is being unfairly hounded?

Bounced out of Government, more like, came the rather forced reply from Enda.

This could spell problems for the Opposition. They may be able to match the Government on the issues, but Bertie the Martyr - now that's a different proposition.

Miriam Lord

Miriam Lord

Miriam Lord is a colour writer and columnist with The Irish Times. She writes the Dáil Sketch, and her review of political happenings, Miriam Lord’s Week, appears every Saturday