OPINION:I'm sorry. I just don't get it. Maybe I'm a musical snob (many who know me think so), but Eurovision and all the attendant pap leaves me cold, writes Kilian Doyle.
But then, it's not really about the music, is it? The star-struck participants are remembered long after their catchy little ditties with uplifting choruses and nifty key changes between third and fourth verses are forgotten.
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The Pride of Lifford, Mickey Jo Harte relaxes in Riga ahead of tomorrow's spectacular
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Although I am not alone, I am very much in the minority. Tomorrow's festivities in the Latvian capital, Riga, will attract a television audience of hundreds upon hundreds of millions of devotees, glued to the spectacle of the all-singing, all-dancing, all-smiling Steps clones, Britney-alikes, Westlife rejects and novelty accordion-playing goat-herders that make up the modern day Eurovision.
It's kitsch, it's tacky, it's musically challenged, and for a while there, Ireland couldn't stop winning. What does that say about us as a nation? And love it or hate it, you have to admit that Eurovision has a lot to answer for in Ireland.
Dana? We still can't get rid of her. Johnny Logan? Please. As for Riverdance, never so ashamed have I been to be Oirish as when they first skittered across the stage, legs and arms flaying, in a converted warehouse in Dublin's docklands. "We'll never be rid of them. And they may as well change the competition's named to Irishvision," I moaned, hiding my face in my hands.
That said, RTÉ's You're a Star- which justifiably had a nation on the edge their seats - was classic stuff. Fingers were gnawed to the bone, nerves were jangled like cats in a washing-machine, egos were crumpled and left on the floor like chip bags. We Irish love seeing cocky people getting a public kicking.
And the Irish bookies are certainly loving the result. The Mickey Joe factor has seen millions placed on the Lifford likely lad to lift the greastest prize in contemporary pop with his entry We've Got Tonight.
Despite the accusations of plagiarism, Donegal's second finest son (Mickey has a long way to go to knock Daniel O'Donnell from his position as the blue-rinse brigade's favourite) is sitting pretty at 9/4 favourite.
Obviously, I'm rooting for him to win. But, I'm sorry to say my money's on the teenage faux lesbian duo from Russia, tAtu. Not only to they have the requisite catchy ditty, they also exude gay appeal, dirty old man appeal, granny appeal, teenage girl appeal. In fact, the whole core audience is covered. How can they possibly lose?