RADIO REVIEW:YOU HAVE TO love the guff. Fianna Fáil's Dick Roche on Monday's The Last Word(Today FM, weekdays) was a classic political diplomat on the prospects of a second Lisbon Treaty referendum. No, wait. It would the first referendum on amendments that were not included in the original. Or, actually, it would be a new referendum on the renegotiation of the . . . Oh, what the hell. Over to Dick.
"I think we're very far away from a second vote at this stage and the polls reflect that," he said, adding, "We have to find a way forward that respects the decision of the Irish people as made." Whistle a ditty and keep your eye on the polls. As Brian Cowen said, democracy is sovereign. "You can't just have a second vote on the same thing," Roche said. Well said. It will be the same, but different.
Roche and Sinn Féin's Padraig McLoughlin had a barney. McLoughlin said, "It's clear under the Nice Treaty arrangement that the Irish government will have a veto if there is any suggestion that our Commissioner is removed." Roche was irate: "Nobody should be allowed tell an untruth on your programme . . . Nice provides for a smaller Commission." More confusion. Some things never change.
On Tuesday, Henry McKean asked "Whatever happened to Dolores McNamara?" on Moncrieff(Newstalk 106-108, weekdays). In July 2005, McNamara, sitting in the Track Bar, Garryowen, won €115 million on the EuroMillions Lottery. McKean brought his brand of exuberance and wide-eyed innocence to his surreal odyssey around Limerick. I pictured him in a khaki green safari hat with corks.
An elderly man in the town said McNamara made a big mistake getting the barman to check her ticket. "I got the information from the milkman who was delivering down to Henry Street barracks . . . She was looking for a bank manager and superintendent. The next thing they opened a book of worms with Sky Television and the whole lot." A book of worms? That's a new one on me.
Another geezer said he went into the same shop an hour before McNamara's life changed forever and she vanished from public view into an invisible castle in the sky that €115 million built. "We did €30 of Quick Pick and she did €2 of Quick Pick and she won the money. Fair play to her! Best of luck to her!" Yes, but his clear implication was it would have been fairer/better/nicer for his posse to win it.
McKean asked if he'd seen her. "No." She vanished? "Yes." Where did she go? "Turkey." Why Turkey? "She has a house there, we're led to believe." Is it just me? Or does he sound the opposite of happy for her?
Later, Sean Moncrieff added to the lark with a funny impression of Eddie Hobbs: "My name is Eddie Hobbs and I don't want to talk about my client Dolores McNamara, who's not my client."
"As far as tracking her down now, you might as well contact David Attenborough," another man said. Instead, McKean did a David Attenborough, trudging up the gravel pathways of several large houses.
"There are big surveillance cameras in operation," he whispered. Finally, he reached the house. Or did he? The last we hear: "Ding-Dong!" The doorbell. And fade to black.
As part of Radio France Internationale's series Crossroads: Africa the Diaspora(www.rfi.fr, Wednesday) Colin Murphy spent November 4th at the "House of Justice" at Reverend Al Sharpton's National Action Network in Harlem, New York. There were shrieks of "Obama!" as Barack Obama reached the 270 electoral vote threshhold to become the 44th President of the US.
Sharpton was on fighting form. "We're back, brothers and sisters! What do we want?" he cried. "Justice!" they roared. "When do we want it?" he wailed. "Now!" they called back. (I had a funny feeling they were going to say that.)
"We are at the end of a very historic week, a week we thought we would never see," Sharpton told his parishioners. Speaking to Murphy after, he was far more reticent.
"We trust Obama but we trust ourselves and we just want to make sure that the change he promises is the change he gives," Sharpton said, post-hype. "The dream was never to put a black in the White House, the dream was to bring equality to our houses . . . Obama doesn't run the courts in downturn Brooklyn." Whatever leftie guffster said we live in a post-racial society should have his head examined.
Mairead Farrell and Will Hanafin were filling in on The Ray D'Arcy Show(Today FM, weekdays). It was quite relaxing and engaging, like, like . . . listening to an old married couple having a chat in bed. "I once got hit by a rugby ball," Farrell said on Wednesday. "I fell off the wall like a skittle and landed in nettles."
"You sound like OJ Simpson in one of those Naked Gunmovies," Hanafin said.
There was a flood of texts about people's scars. It's weird what excites the public imagination. "I fell asleep on the curling iron and it got stuck to my elbow," one texter said. Another added, "I got a scar on my nose from falling down the stairs of Captain America's on my face."
Captain America's? It's still flying the red, white and blue after all these years? Mmmm . . . Cheese burgers. Ketchup. Pickles. And chips.