Feminists had made words such as rights, choice and equality almost entirely their own. Yet through a dialogue of openness and generosity, the family provided the natural expression for a radical love of other people, Ms Finola Bruton said at the weekend.
Speaking at a conference on women, work and family in Co Meath, on "Women/Men - Any Difference?" Ms Bruton said for the last 20 years she had only thought of herself as a wife and mother and was content to operate within this categorisation.
Throughout the 20th century, feminism sought to divide the world into two categories - men the oppressors, the aggressors and women the victims, powerless and enslaved.
From equal rights to the right to choose, from social construction to gender realignment, literary feminism had locked women and men into theoretical formulations and linguistic categories.
"The men I know bear no resemblance to these alien creatures who stalk the feminist literary landscape," she said.
One of the most fundamental human needs was of and for each other. "The more we recognise and submit to this dependency, the stronger we are emotionally.
"Some feminists, fixated on the goal of economic independence for women, treat all forms of dependence as lesser forms of living, whereas the truth is that dependency is inherent in all stages of the human life cycle," she said.
The family grounded the individual in a network of human relationships and dependences. "To my mind, it is an institution which is in tune with the essence of what it is to be a human being."
Through a dialogue of openness and generosity, through a commitment, where the decision to remain together was not always under scrutiny, the family provided the natural expression for a radical love of other people.
"We should not let words like rights or choices and equality define our thoughts and our actions. Neither should we become enslaved to the language of sociology or economics. We have an obligation to think, to reflect and to seek new ways of understanding and defining the natures of women and men."
The former Norwegian secretary for foreign affairs, now professor of international politics at the University of Oslo, Dr Janne Haaland Matlary, said the masculine and feminine were different and yet complementary. This was why the political sphere needed much more female participation. There was scientific evidence for the differences. Women in general were less aggressive and conflict-prone than men. Women sought co-operation and consensual solutions.