Radio Review Bernice HarrisonDon't suppose listeners have to be actually told that RTÉ is the "Official Broadcast Radio Station of the Ryder Cup".
There was simply no end to the coverage - it seeped into the weather forecasts, traffic reports, business coverage, not to mention features covering every possible angle - I imagine not even Farm News was able to mind its own business without having to come up with "it's good grazing land but it'd be a better fairway" sort of guff.
Giving the national broadcaster - and let's hope it was a gift - the title of official radio broadcaster is real crumbs from the top table stuff. Dress it up how you like, but golf is a TV sport. The live TV coverage is available only on Sky, so RTÉ is gamely covering the play, stroke by stroke, on medium and long wave, but it makes as much sense as knitting classes on the radio.
Buying wholeheartedly into the hype, RTÉ or Radio Ryder appears to have more people in the K Club than Lehmann and Woosnam combined, and at times they're scrabbling round for something to say. Low points - and there were many - included a Morning Ireland (RTÉ Radio 1, Wednesday) report on the catering facilities (this on the flagship news and current affairs programme), and on the same day there was a golf slot on the Gerry Ryan Show (RTÉ 2FM) where the reporter was so stuck for someone to talk to that he interviewed - at tedious length - two teenagers queuing to get in.
Though Greg Allen did find a gem in the crowd in the shape of the no-nonsense Peggy Lowe (Drivetime, RTÉ Radio 1, Wednesday). She's one of the 850 marshals (see, the brainwashing is working, I actually know how many marshals there are) at the event. In a spectacular display of rudeness, the US team ignored the hordes of windblown fans on the first tee who had paid dearly to see them practise, and starting playing further down the fairway. They were booed - the golf fan equivalent of a football hooligan setting his seat on fire - but Peggy Lowe was refreshingly forthright in her opinion about how badly the Americans behaved.
Allen handed back to the studio where Mary Wilson tried to draw Des Cahill out on the matter. If that programme was working properly, there should have been some entertaining banter between the two presenters, but it's not, far from it, and anyway when it comes to the Ryder Cup, Cahill is like an embedded war reporter.
On Today FM things are bit different - Ray D'Arcy (The Ray D'Arcy Show - with Ann Marie Kelly, Mon-Fri) who understands his audience well hasn't been shy about stating his opinion that it's all a lot of boring hype - and he's from Kildare. As if sensing that Ryder fatigue might already be setting in, Matt Cooper (The Last Word, Today FM) announced on Wednesday that he would be broadcasting for the rest of the week from the K Club - "but don't worry it won't be all about golf" he quickly added.
In radio interviews over the past few months, many people, from Michael Smurfit to Minister for Sports and Tourism John O'Donoghue, have tried to explain what an "honour" it is that this little country of ours has been "chosen " to host the Ryder Cup (the subtext being, if you're in any way less than forelock-tugging about the whole business, you're a grubby begrudger) but even with all the coverage this week of the actual event, I'm still not the wiser.
At least Sean Moncrieff, with the help of a very sensible-sounding road safety expert (Moncrieff, NewsTalk 106, Tuesday), did manage to explain a subject that's going to have huge practical implications on a daily basis for a hundreds of thousands of people - the new rules about car seats for all children. Apparently standard seat belts don't really work on little people, hence the need for additional child-designed seats - it's as simple as that and it's an EU directive so we don't really have any choice in the matter. Though Moncrieff wasn't able to get to the bottom of why the communication of such an important safety message has been so badly handled by the Government.
The mammys calling in to Gerry Ryan, who devoted a lot of time this week to the subject, reasonably wondered how to persuade a strapping 12-year-old that they need a booster seat and there really is no answer to that one. The restrictions are based on either the height or weight of the child, conjuring up images of gardaí weighing kids on the side of road.
Ryan, who is always at his worst when he sounds like a talking tabloid, wondered: "What do we do with the midgets?"