LIKE Bill Clinton, our Taoiseach still believes in a place called Hope. Again and again he told the Dail that on his recent US visit he had declared himself "hopeful" about a renewed IRA ceasefire but had never, ever used the words "optimism" or "optimistic".
On its first day back, the House resembled a McCarthyite hearing from the 1950s. Bertie Ahern was adamant that the Taoiseach was, if not a card-carrying Optimist, certainly a dupe or stooge of the Optimistic Movement.
Lamblike, the Taoiseach protested his innocence. But it just wouldn't wash with Tailgunner Bertie. You have to take a firm line with these Optimistic fellow travellers.
The McBertyite hearing began with the Fianna Fail leader asking the Taoiseach if he still stood over his statement that a renewed ceasefire was inevitable, and the reasons he had, "if any", for believing it would happen in the short term.
In response, the Taoiseach invoked Logic, which is nearly always a futile gesture in Leinster House. There would have to be another ceasefire, sure twas only logical, was his theme.
Ahern and his fellow McBertyites were implacable. They know a closet Optimist when they see one and refused to be put off the scent.
Republicans would probably say it was a case of the Devil quoting Scripture as the Taoiseach repeated comments from Martin McGuinness to the effect that real negotiations required the absence of violence.
So many times did Mr Bruton quote Mr McGuinness that the Sinn Fein man from Derry may well be entitled to royalties.
Mr McGuinness may live on the banks of the Foyle but it was another river, the Rubicon, that Mr Bruton wanted him to cross. The republican movement hand to cross that Rubicon between peace and war.
McBerty wasn't distracted with this talk of Rubicons. The river isn't even in his constituency. Did Mr Bruton agree with Sir Patrick Mayhew's admission that the situation was extremely bad?
That was one in the eye for Wild-Eyed Optimist Bruton. Yah-yah, the Brits think it's a bloody awful country and they want a large Scotch.
Lawyers acting for persons charged with Optimism or Optimistic tendencies always advise their clients to remain calm in the face of their accusers. It wasn't as if Fianna Fail had pictures of Bruton attending a rally of known Optimists or records of financial contributions Bruton had made to some Optimistic front organisation.
The Taoiseach kept his cool.
Yes, yes, there were difficulties but that could be an incentive for agreement between the Northern parties.
Besides, Mr Bruton had a piece of paper with a different and more, her, hopeful statement from the Northern Secretary. G'owa that, was the import of McBerty's response, Sir Patrick had also said "extremely bad".
The inquisition reached its height. The McBerites were in full cry with their leader charging that even when Sir Patrick said things were awful, "You still saw fit, Taoiseach, to give an optimistic assessment". He pronounced his verdict that John Bruton, public representative and farmer of Dunboyne, Co Meath, was guilty, not just of Common Exaggeration or even Hype but "Vacuous Optimism".
The Taoiseach showed no emotion as the McBertyite verdict was announced, but continued to protest his innocence as the guards prepared to lead him away to the cells. He claimed that if he had struck a different note in America, then McBerty would be accusing him of excessive Pessimism. You just can't win.
Bruton even tried to turn the tables by recalling that, after the first ceasefire, there was "an atmosphere of absolutely euphoric optimism" where it was considered politically incorrect to deviate from "the perceived wisdom of the herd".
As usual the last word went to P.J. Sheehan, the Bucolic Battler of Goleen, who intoned from his lofty perch on the Fine Gael benches: "Better to live in hope than die in despair."