Dail Sketch/Michael O'Regan: The real business of the Dáil began with Enda Kenny giving spiritual advice to the Government.
It ended with Michael McDowell greeting some of his PD colleagues with an expression that was more moonlight on a tombstone than reflective of party solidarity.
Fianna Fáil's "not so sweet 16 backbenchers", as described by Mr Kenny, and personality tensions within the PDs inevitably spilled over into the Dáil chamber.
Mr Kenny reminded Bertie Ahern that it was the feast day of Our Lady of Perpetual Help. "It might be a good idea for him to start lighting candles on his side of the House because it seems that with every passing day this Government needs more help from some quarter." Mr Ahern, flanked by Tánaiste Mary Harney, allowed himself a half-smile. Mr McDowell was nowhere to be seen.
Responding to Mr Kenny's taunts, Mr Ahern rejected the damning report on the State's health services.
"I am happy to stand here and defend our health services against a crowd of geniuses who did not even bother to get facts."
Mr Kenny lapsed into Hollywood-speak to describe the state of the Government. "The Taoiseach was forced to do a Mae West with the backbenchers - 'Why don't you come up some time and see me?' The Tánaiste opted for Lady Thatcher - 'I am not for turning'. He who is not present here - the Minister for Justice - turned to the tragic personality of Marilyn Monroe - 'All of us are stars and deserve the right to twinkle'."
But the Government's leading man was not impressed, his half-smile long gone. "Deputy Kenny's concluding comments show how seriously he is taking this report," snapped the Taoiseach.
Pat Rabbitte spoke of the disintegration of the Government, "divided, dysfunctional and out of touch", with Ministers even in the same party not speaking to each other. Backbenchers were in revolt.
Mr Ahern replied that Mr Rabbitte was "by nature a negative person with negative policies".
Joe Higgins, described in Mr Ahern's outburst last week as a "failed person", rose to speak. Mr Ahern, more restrained this time, outlined Government achievements in the face of Mr Higgins's onslaught.
"The Taoiseach faces mutiny on the Fianna Fáil ship," Mr Higgins warned. "Like the ill-fated Captain Bligh, whose ill temper he certainly displayed last week, the Taoiseach might find himself adrift."
Then, for Fianna Fáil, it was off to the scheduled 5.30pm parliamentary party meeting.
At 6.15pm they all had to return to the chamber for a vote on the Criminal Justice Bill, piloted through the House by Mr McDowell.
As the Minister for Justice made his way from his ministerial seat to the PD benches for the electronic vote, party colleagues Liz O'Donnell and Tim O'Malley greeted him. Mr McDowell just nodded as no words were spoken. Ms Harney was not present.
In the lobby, the Taoiseach engaged FF backbenchers John McGuinness and Noel O'Flynn, leading lights in the putative policy group, in animated conversation.
Perhaps they were praying to Our Lady of Perpetual Help.