Fine Gaelers all a-beaming as Greens go tweedless

A week to go, and John Gormley has ditched the tweed.

A week to go, and John Gormley has ditched the tweed.

Is it a sign? In the absence of anything more substantial around Leinster House yesterday afternoon, the Green negotiator's navy business suit was seized upon as a significant signal. Not a flaky fleck in sight.

Oh yes, they're only dying to get into power, concluded the political cognoscenti on the plinth.

Louis Copeland can expect an influx any day now. These boys are ready to earn their government (pin)stripes next Thursday.

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Whether their wider party colleagues are willing to let them is an entirely different proposition.

Should the Green team manage to strike a deal with the crowd formerly known as "the devil", they then have to sell it to a two-thirds majority of their membership at a conference on Sunday.

Hence the growing air of urgency yesterday about their negotiations with Fianna Fáil. For them, the talks are approaching a critical stage.

As deputy Gormley said on his way into Government Buildings, "roadblock issues" have to be surmounted.

It's a pity Taoiseach Ahern isn't part of the FF negotiating team, because he could have filled John in very quickly on the subject of road blockers.

Over the years, Bertie has been scathing about environmentalists holding up road-building programmes because of "aul' snails" and swans and fellas hanging out of trees.

He never wastes a chance to blame the Greens, and their championing of rare snails, for causing expensive delays to motorway projects.

However, given his desire for stable government, could Bertie now be willing to embrace the noble slug? (Look at the make-up of his cabinets, some might say.)

Or might Deputy Gormley and his team choose to abandon the humble mollusc? Will the party retreat back into its shell on Sunday as a result? These are the pressing issues that run through the mind while waiting for the latest dispatch from the negotiations.

Or waiting for Enda Kenny to roll out his newly expanded parliamentary party.

Which he eventually did, in the blazing sunshine, amid much back-slapping and preening and a dogged refusal to accept that Bertie Ahern will be the next taoiseach.

The Blueshirts deserved their moment in the sun, having come back from electoral disaster with 20 new deputies. They were delighted with themselves, steaming across the plinth towards the photographers, the despair of 2002 forgotten.

It must have been a bitter-sweet occasion for former leader Michael Noonan, gallantly smiling from the back of the crowd. Beside him was maverick Waterford deputy John Deasy, who also chose to stand some considerable distance from his leader.

In the last week, staff at the entrances to Leinster House have been making discreet use of photocopied sheets bearing photos of all the new boys and girls. We could have done with them yesterday. It's bad enough when the policemen start to look very young, but even worse when certain TDs look like they've just made their confirmation.

Thank heavens, so, for the likes of new boy PJ Sheehan (74), up from Goleen for another stint in Dáil Éireann. "I took a sabbatical five years ago!" wheezed PJ, who was first elected as a late starter in 1981.

Enda's electrified deputies applauded when he appeared. They gathered around him and craned their necks to get into the camera shot. He stepped forward to face the happy group and raised both hands in the air.

You could sense the TDs wanted to mark the occasion by saying something, but they couldn't think of anything. There was every danger that deputy Frankie Feighan - who has a history of this type of thing - might burst into song. Mercifully, Jim O'Keeffe broke the silence.

"Urbi et Orbi," he bellowed.

There was nothing more to say.

Whereupon the Viking Splash tour bus drove past the gates, and its young passengers let out a mighty roar.

"They're the Vikings, they're on our side," quipped Enda. Unfortunately for him, they didn't have a vote.

But he hasn't given up entirely on the prospect of government.

"That's still possible," he said, intimating that Mary Harney and Trevor Sargent should do what he didn't do during the election campaign and consider Bertie Ahern's strange financial dealings. Enda added he could deliver "a government that will not have any baggage". It mightn't be enough to get Mary and Trevor on board, but at least his Opposition will get cheaper air fares.

As he spoke, Independent deputy Jackie Healy-Rae, a very satisfied grin under his cap, was being driven out the gates. His window went down and he favoured the photographers with a regal wave.

Meanwhile, just to show that elections aren't over just yet in Leinster House, Senator David Norris rushed across the car park to say he is launching his manifesto next week.

"I'll have Franz Ferdinand, Nijinsky and two ex-Protestants at it," he promised above the din of the frolicking Blueshirts.

Sadly, upon closer inquiry, it transpired David has invited two ex-provosts of Trinity College and the President of Dublin City University, Ferdinand von Prondzynsky, to attend.

Fine Gael newcomer North Tipperary deputy Noel Coonan was celebrating on the double, having just won €25,000 as part of a 14-strong Lotto syndicate in Templemore. He posed with his leader, who waved the winning Lottery ticket for the cameras.

Then Enda moved away, putting the ticket in his pocket. Noel was remarkably unconcerned.

"It's not the real one," he whispered.

No need to tell Enda that - he know's he missed the jackpot.

Miriam Lord

Miriam Lord

Miriam Lord is a colour writer and columnist with The Irish Times. She writes the Dáil Sketch, and her review of political happenings, Miriam Lord’s Week, appears every Saturday