Russell Brand's prank calls to actor Andrew Sachs were made during his BBC Radio 2 show on Saturday evening 12 days ago. The show opens with this warning: "The next programme contains some strong language which some listeners may find offensive."
Early in the show, Jonathan Ross jokes about an interview planned with Sachs, telling Brand that "I had a go on his daughter" would be "the sort of thing you'd say".
Brand replies that he knows Sachs's granddaughter - Georgina Baillie (23) - and says she has visited his home and that she is a member of "a baroque dance group called the satanicsluts.com".
He continues: "She always said to me, 'don't mention that to my granddad Manuel' and now here we are. So when we talk to Manuel, don't mention that his granddaughter's a satanic slut."
After it emerges that Sachs will not now be in the show due to unforeseen circumstances, listeners hear Brand and Ross leave four messages on the actor's voicemail.
Extracts from the messages:
Message one: As Brand begins to leave a message, Ross says: "He f***ed your granddaughter . . . I'm sorry, I apologise. Andrew, I apologise, I got excited, what can I say - it just came out."
Brand: "Andrew Sachs, I did not do nothing with Georgina - oh no, I've revealed I know her name. Oh no, it's a disaster."
Ross: "If he's like most people of a certain age, he's probably got a picture of his grandchildren when they're young right by the phone. So while he's listening to the messages, he's looking at a picture of her about nine on a swing . . ."
Message two: "Andrew, this is Russell Brand. I'm so sorry about the last message, it was part of the radio show - it was a mistake."
Ross: "It might be true, but we didn't want to break it to you in such a harsh way."
Brand: "No, I'm sorry, I'll do anything. I wore a condom. Put the phone down. Oh, what's going to happen?"
Message three: The message opens with Ross saying: "She was bent over the couch . . ."
Brand then improvises a song which includes the lines: "I said some things I didn't of oughta, like I had sex with your granddaughter."
Message four: Brand opens the message with: "All right Andrew Sachs's answerphone? I'm ever so so sorry for what I said about Andrew Sachs."
Ross: "Just say sorry"
Brand, laughing: "I'll kill you."
Ross: "Don't say you'll wear him as a hat - just say sorry."
Brand: "Sorry, right."