Berliners discovered recently that they enjoy the highest sperm count in Germany, easily outstripping Hamburg, Leipzig and Magdeburg in the fertility stakes. But the capital's inhabitants remain irredeemably gloomy and unadventurous, with many telling pollsters that they can hardly wait to move into an old people's home.
As most of the great construction projects undertaken in Berlin during the past decade near completion, the city often seems uncomfortable with its new grandeur. Even the restauranteurs and barkeepers who have gained most from the influx of politicians, diplomats and assorted hangers-on from Bonn sometimes yearn for the sleepy old days when they made less money but went home early every night.
A stroll through the centre of Berlin is enough, however, to convince the most sceptical observer that this is a city with great expectations for the new millennium. The vast dome of Lord Foster's restored Reichstag looms above the skyline near the Brandenburg Gate as a symbol of the New Germany.
The 1990s were supposed to be Germany's decade, as the newly re-united country emerged as the undisputed master of European integration. But the joy of unification soon faded as the cost of bringing western levels of prosperity to 16 million easterners soared and economic recession cost millions of Germans their jobs.
Under the patriarchal rule of Helmut Kohl, the government appeared content to allow the economic cycle to take its course, ignoring the growing sense of alienation felt by many citizens, especially in the impoverished east. With few ideological battles left to fight, Germany's intellectual elite sank into a series of squabbles about national identity, with many former idealists lurching towards a pessimistic, mean-spirited conservatism.
Towards the end of the decade, Germany's neighbours, some of whom had feared that the new giant in their midst might seek to abuse its dominant position, began to complain that the country's economic and political sluggishness could derail Economic and Monetary Union. Meanwhile, few German writers, artists or directors made much impact outside their own country and even the once fearsome national football team seemed to run out of puff.
Just in time for the new century, the mood is changing decisively as an economic recovery that started feebly has gained strength and Germany is regaining a sense of political direction. As unemployment begins to fall and the strain on the national exchequer eases, Germany is limbering up for a new era of confidence and enhanced influence that will have profound consequences for the rest of Europe.
As the EU accepts new members in central and eastern Europe - probably by the middle of the decade - Germany's position at the heart of Europe will become a physical as well as a political reality. German investors are more active in the former communist bloc than most of their competitors and Poles, Czechs and Hungarians are increasingly looking to Berlin as well as Brussels as a centre of European leadership.
The decision at December's EU summit in Helsinki to add Turkey to the list of applicant countries represents a further boost to Berlin's influence - with two million Turkish inhabitants, Germany already has a very special relationship with Ankara.
Germany is unlikely, however, to jettison its commitment to the relationship between Paris and Berlin as the motor of European integration. That relationship has, if anything, grown in strength in recent weeks as Chancellor Gerhard Schroder has cooled in his enthusiasm for Tony Blair's Third Way politics.
Senior German officials are united in the view that, unless Britain changes its attitude towards the EU dramatically, Mr Blair cannot share in the leadership of Europe. The launch of the euro has reinforced this conviction as politicians and business leaders are obliged to think in terms of the euro zone rather than in purely national terms.
After a shaky start, Mr Schroder's centre-left coalition appears to have found its feet and, if the Social Democrats and Greens fare well in two state elections during the next few months, the government has a good chance of serving a full term in office. Mr Schroder is set to benefit from the economic upturn and the falling unemployment and, now that he has pushed through a massive package of spending cuts, he can focus on fulfilling more popular manifesto commitments such as the closure of Germany's 19 nuclear power stations.
The chancellor has gained in stature as he watches the attrition of the reputation of his predecessor, Dr Kohl, who is the subject of a parliamentary investigation into secret accounts used for funding the Christian Democrats. The inquiry will last for at least a year, exposing the unattractive side of the former chancellor's leadership style and undermining any nostalgia Germans may feel for 16 years of conservative government.
Mr Schroder's moral stature was substantially enhanced in mid-December when he ensured that former slave labourers who were exploited by the Nazi regime will at last receive compensation. In a remarkably generous gesture that will create significant budget headaches for the government, the chancellor agreed to match the five billion marks offered by industry to compensate the victims.
By abandoning Dr Kohl's policy of refusing to become involved in such questions, the chancellor may have achieved what no German leader has managed - creating the environment where Germans can be at ease with their history while confronting it truthfully. As Germany prepares for greater power and prosperity in the next century, this new relationship with the past may provide the best omen for the future - not only for Germany but for Europe as a whole.