Give Browne a break

A worrying feature of the past summer has been the problem of labour shortages in certain areas of the economy

A worrying feature of the past summer has been the problem of labour shortages in certain areas of the economy. I'm thinking particularly of service sector workers, certain IT professionals and, perhaps most worrying, current affairs broadcasters other than Vincent Browne.

The crisis in this last sector eased a little this week with the return of John Bowman to Questions and Answers, but it's been a difficult couple of months for us all.

My own worst experience was one Monday night recently when I walked the short distance from the kitchen, where Browne was grilling politicians - apparently live - on the radio, to the living room, where he was grilling different politicians - apparently live again - on television; grinning at them, the way he does, like a preprandial Hannibal Lector.

I was confused. With the exception of Schrodinger's Cat, no one has ever managed to be in two different physical states at the same time; and yet I wouldn't put it past this near-legendary journalist who, by the time I'd recovered my equilibrium, was back on the radio doing his nightly bible programme.

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Of course, he's also been standing in on The Sunday Show, and I'm nearly sure he presented the weather one night last week. And this is not to mention the things he does in real life, like being a lawyer and writing a column for this newspaper.

Irish employers are increasingly looking overseas for skilled workers, but this is clearly not an answer to RTE's problems in the current affairs area. Browne's level of ability for worrying politicians is not widely available abroad, outside of a few specialised groups like the Taliban militia, whose members don't emigrate much. And they probably wouldn't do a bible programme, anyway.

This last series is a clue to the man's success. Although it seemed a doomed idea at first, Browne's approach has proved well-suited to biblical issues, eg: "Are you or are you not the King of the Jews? It's a very simple question - yes or no? And please don't give me that `It is you who say that I am' line again."

When you add to this versatility his heroic lack of self-effacement (he would probably quote Matthew, 5.15: "Neither do men light a candle and put it under a bushel, but on a candle-stick"), you can see why RTE have been working him to the bone all summer.

Like the faithful servant in the parable, he is truly able to say: "You entrusted me with five talents, Master, and now I have at least that many jobs to show for it." And this is why many people - and I think the politicians are with us on this one - think the time has come for RTE to say unto him: "Good and faithful servant, you have shown you can be trusted with great things. Now for God's sake, take a holiday."

Meanwhile, on the subject of skill shortages, I see in the London Independent that Ireland is becoming an attractive destination for British graduates. And that among the advantages of living here, according to one who's already made the move, is the following: "Dublin's a pretty small place, so you're unlikely to have to do much commuting."

This will come as news to the many Dubliners who've been driven to counselling by the introduction of Quality Bus Corridors, but my attitude is this: if the suckers are prepared to believe it, why don't we also tell them that there's gold in the streets, and give them shovels?

Then again, the hellish nature of London commuting was highlighted in a recent issue of the Economist. Describing London Transport's draconian crackdown on fare-dodgers - victims of which have included former Chancellor of the Exchequer, Kenneth Clarke - the magazine relates the sad story of a Catholic nun, "a member of the Sisters of the Daughter of Divine Love, who recently fell asleep on her way to visit a sick parishioner and travelled one stop more than her bus pass allowed".

In America, she could probably have sued the driver for not waking her up in time; but instead, as the Economist noted, "her offer to pay the extra fine was refused and she was taken to court".

As arriving British graduates will learn, fare-dodging is about the only thing the nuns here haven't been accused of, yet. This despite their extensive use of the public transport system, particularly trains. So widespread is the occurrence of nuns on Irish trains, an outsider would think they were involved in running the system; and the truth is they'd probably do a better job, at least with the catering. The last time I travelled by rail, I heard a customer complaining that there were no sandwiches left and being told: "Well, we ordered three dozen!" This on a train so full, there must have been three dozen people standing in the toilets.

The unfortunate nun aside, however, it could be that a new, clean-cut generation of Britons is fleeing the pressures of the Blair regime. Even Kenneth Clarke described the LT policy as "daft," according to the Economist. Maybe he should consider Irish politics as a career option.

Of course, politics here has been convulsed of late by the DIRT saga. And as a final note this week, I want to say that it's all too easy these days to criticise the banks, often in over-the-top, hysterical terms; which is why I have no hesitation adding that - based on my experience - the Irish banking system is the work of the devil.

To give just one example: I recently bought £400 worth of another EU currency in a Dublin bank, and afterwards discovered I'd been charged a whopping £14 commission for the privilege, although the teller deftly avoided use of the "C" word throughout and just slipped it into the equation, smooth as a well-executed prostate exam.

I know the Government intends appointing an independent regulator to the banking sector, and I support this fully. But the work calls for someone with a particularly strong grasp of detail; someone prepared to ask the hard questions; and, above all, someone who isn't afraid to work ludicrous hours. I think I know the man for the job too, but right now he needs a rest.

Frank McNally

Frank McNally

Frank McNally is an Irish Times journalist and chief writer of An Irish Diary