Dáil Sketch: Goals, goons and Good Samaritans were the focus of a Dáil high on the Republic's soccer victory at Lansdowne Road. "Staunton for the Dáil" might have been the slogan such was the banter prompted by Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny congratulating Staunton "on his great start to his new career".
Fianna Fáil's Johnny Brady asked mischievously: "Is Fine Gael going to give him a run?"
"I thought Keano was our target," joked Fine Gael's Richard Bruton.
Tánaiste Mary Harney quipped that the Minster for Sport was "delighted to accept Deputy Kenny's congratulations on behalf of the Irish football team". That prompted Labour's Brendan Howlin to recall that "the last politician to try to claim such credit for a sporting victory was Charlie Haughey in Paris".
There were sporting references earlier when Green Party TD Paul Gogarty linked the levels of obesity and cardiac disease to alcohol and betting.
He called for more investment in sport, and was "gobsmacked" to hear that 37 per cent of all sport funding was spent on horses and dogs.
"I gather the only exercise most people get is walking to the pub or the bookies."
Fine Gael's Billy Timmins was exercised by Good Samaritans - those who go to the assistance of someone having a heart attack and use a defibrillator but then find themselves sued if things go wrong. Ms Harney said the Government was examining the legal issues of Good Samaritan legislation.
Fine Gael's Denis Naughten looked like he might need a Good Samaritan with a defibrillator such was his agitation over health parliamentary questions being referred to the HSE and Ministers not bothering to come into the House to take adjournment debates. It was a "disgrace" and an "insult," he thundered, getting increasingly flushed as he proclaimed that nobody had ever insulted the House like the Tánaiste had.
Party colleague Bernard Durkan was equally thunderous about his questions being referred to the HSE, and spoke of the "crowd of goons" on the Government side, apparently amused by a serious abuse of the parliamentary system.
When more Opposition deputies spoke of unanswered health questions, Minister for Sport John O'Donoghue muttered: "This place is getting like crank's corner."
Independent TD Dr Jerry Cowley was more interested in the exercise regime of US secretary of state Condoleezza Rice, who "gave a good example of how busy people should take exercise". He asked if the Tánaiste would follow Ms Rice's example and consider going on TV and doing "pilots", his reference to her pilates routine and other exercise as a "good example to the Irish people".
"I'll leave that to you, deputy," Ms Harney calmly replied.
