Children were on the political menu yesterday, writes Miriam Lord.
They don't get much of a look in usually. Like lobster - absolutely lovely, but a bit too much like hard work, and very, very expensive.
Bertie can eat a whole backbencher at one sitting. They taste like steak that's been hung out to dry for a long time.
But the chislers are best avoided, or left in the hands of people who understand them: women, and, in the interests of gender balance, junior Minister Brian Lenihan.
According to the Greens, this is not how things should be. Recently, the party held a consultation meeting with children and young people.
Selfish, petulant, noisy, demanding, undisciplined, unreasonable, prone to violence and with questionable table manners.
But that was the other consultation meeting taking place in Leinster House, one of a series held in the Fianna Fáil rooms to reassure nervous backbenchers that Bertie and his Ministers are to discontinue the practice of devouring them in one sitting.
On the other hand, the youngsters who came to meet the Greens behaved impeccably, giving freely of their opinions without rancour or leaks to the press.
The thoughts of this young focus group were then taken into account when the party formulated its "unique" Children's Policy.
Or as equality spokesman Ciaran Cuffe put it: "This was the kernel around which we wrapped the fruit or the nut of the policy we are launching."
Said fruit and nuts were duly launched yesterday at a small ceremony in Dublin's Cultivate Centre - an oasis of environmentally friendly gardening in the middle of Temple Bar.
Just in case visitors were not clear that the event was dedicated to and geared towards smaller people, the front door was propped open by a bag of bonsai compost.
To the gentle accompaniment of beer kegs being unloaded from lorries at neighbouring pubs, party spokespeople sat in the building's courtyard and outlined the main objectives in the document.
A number of small children sat in the front rows, playing with paper windmills bearing the slogan "Greens Mean Business."
"I'm wearing my justice hat," explained Deputy Cuffe to an indifferent audience as they blew on their windmills to make them turn faster.
"Cities can be very daunting places for young children," he began. There are very few places with an oasis like this that is relatively accessible and child-friendly in the heart of Dublin."
The tots batted the paper sails about with tiny hands.
"That will all change when the Green Party gets into power."
Childcare spokeswoman Bronwen Maher and social and family affairs spokesman Dan Boyle also spoke, but neither felt the need to explain the type of hat they were wearing.
A couple of the children in the front took off their shoes.
As Ciaran Cuffe spoke about the importance of residential housing layouts, one audience member told her mother that ants live in another country, before noting that it's very hard to stick your biscuit back together again once it's been broken in half.
The paper windmills went down a bomb.
Expect Minister Dick Roche to snaffle the idea for the next election, building on his success last time out with personalised pens and nail files. "Think Wind, Vote Roche."