Dutch couple Miranda and Henk's joy at having a new baby turned to sorrow when the authorities took him away because they have learning difficulties, ISABEL CONWAYreports from Amsterdam
IT WAS the end of a nightmare for the parents of seven-month-old Hendrikus when they could at last tuck their son up in his new cot and arrange the row of soft cuddly toys in the brightly decorated baby’s bedroom in Holland.
Separation from a newborn child makes reconciliation all the more joyful, yet there was no medical reason to stop the healthy baby coming home. But parents Henk and Miranda were regarded as exceptional in the eyes of the Dutch authorities.
Both, in their 30s, have moderate learning difficulties. Described by those who know them as a loving couple who enjoy their home, their pets, garden and work, they have exercised a right, enshrined in Dutch law, to a normal life, deciding to marry and become parents last year.
The Netherlands has always prided itself on being at the forefront of developments exploring and legislating on taboo subjects such as euthanasia, medical cannabis and state-sponsored sex services for the physically challenged.
There are an estimated 120,000 people with intellectual disabilities in the country.
Those with light to moderate learning difficulties are encouraged to be self sufficient, but the authorities in this particular case appeared to have little or no strategy for dealing with the couple’s unusual circumstances.
A day after his birth last October baby Hendrikus was placed in a foster home after a juvenile court ruled that his parents were not considered to have sufficient skills to guarantee him a safe and healthy level of care.
Henk and Miranda were distraught. They have been together for more than five years and live independently of any outside help. The decision to take their newborn son into care appears to have been based on the opinion of a psychologist who believed they posed risks as parents because of their inflexibility and difficulty with adapting to new situations.
Miranda was rated as being very kind and caring but doubts still remained.
The couple’s family, friends and neighbours believed the couple were capable of good parenting. An aunt who is a retired teacher told Dutch newspapers and TV stations how Miranda had cared single-handedly for her mother for years up to her death.
The mother, who came home after the birth without her baby, said: “We were given no chance to show we could be good parents.”
“Did they think we were the kind of people who would throw their child through the room like a ball?” asked the father angrily.
Relatives and neighbours later wrote to the court saying they were more than willing to help the couple and a petition was organised in a bid to persuade the authorities to have a change of heart.
Henk and Miranda were in despair but then fate intervened. The foster family could no longer look after the baby and a new foster home could not be found to take him in at short notice late last month.
Despite opposition from child protection services, the Dutch courts took the view that bonding was vital and ruled that he be given to his biological parents temporarily.
The case will be reviewed again next month to determine whether Henk and Miranda can be responsible parents.
In the meantime, a unique form of surveillance is in place in their home in the town of Geldermalsen, south of Utrecht. Cameras monitor Henk and Miranda’s parenting skills 24 hours a day.
While his parents are at their sheltered workshop, the baby will be looked after at a day creche and a nurse comes four days a week to assist them.
Miranda says of the cameras: “The supervision is helpful, the cameras can stay, we are grateful for all the help and assistance we can get.”
This is the first time that cameras have been used to monitor parents who have intellectual disabilities and it is hoped that others may benefit from the experiment.
In practice, 60 per cent of parents with learning difficulties come into contact with the Dutch child protection agency. However, a third of them are perfectly able to care for their children.
The case has attracted much discussion in Holland. Several newspaper editorials have maintained that the child’s needs were the priority, despite the obvious disappointment and sadness of his parents, and he deserved adequate protection, based on expert opinion.
Research was quoted showing that parents with learning difficulties were more likely to neglect and abuse their children and the percentage being taken into care is higher.
But society often turns a blind eye to far great dangers confronting children, from drug addicted, alcoholic and violent parents, albeit those without learning difficulties, others argue.
Ironically, Henk’s own worries about necessary back-up to help them sparked off a chain of events which was to result in a decision to remove the baby before they ever had a chance to prove they could cope with parenthood.
Long before the delivery date he set about trying to arrange a creche place, but there was no availability until after 2010. So on advice he contacted a help agency for those with learning difficulties, who called in the child protection agency.
Fearing that they would make unfit parents – based on other experiences – the alarm was raised and the couple lost custody of their baby.
Marja Hodes, an expert on parenthood and learning difficulties, says: “I have known this couple for years; I am convinced they will be good parents and can cope well.
“Getting assistance is crucial for such people, but what happened in the baby Henrikus case may deter others from looking for help because they fear their children could be taken away.”
She told The Irish Times: "I have worked with parents who have intellectual disabilities for 25 years and they can make good parents. A number of them cope very well and having a lower IQ is not such a handicap; the biggest risk is being stuck in a poverty trap and the lack of proper professional and community based support."
Study into fitness of parents
About 1.5 per cent of people with intellectual disabilities become parents in the Netherlands. There are about 1,500 families in which one or both partners may have intellectual disabilities.
An extensive study, commissioned by the Dutch Health Ministry in 2005, found that in 51 per cent of cases, caregivers believed such parents fell short of normal parenting skills.
But, contrary to common belief, a lower than normal IQ in itself was not the biggest handicap. Isolation, refusal to accept help or learn from it and financial problems were far bigger obstacles to successful parenting.
Some 33 per cent of those surveyed were found to give 'good enough parenting', while 16 per cent were rated 'doubtful'.
The study, used as a training module for help givers in Holland, stresses that parenthood is an inevitable expectation for those with light intellectual disabilities.
The level and quality of support and advice – professional and within the community – was crucial to good parenthood, researchers found.
More professional expertise to help couples, better social acceptance and less stigmatisation of parents with learning difficulties is needed.