The tragic deaths of two elderly brothers in Bluebell, Dublin, has raised questions about Irish society and the role neighbours can play – even though neighbourly contact is not always as easy as it sounds.
However head of communications at Active Retirement Ireland Peter Kavanagh says help can start with a simple hello.
“How important is saying hello, being neighbourly, knowing your neighbours and asking if they’re okay? It’s as vital as any other medical intervention,” says Kavanagh. “If you know somebody who lives alone, it can be of huge benefit to them if all you do is just start a conversation, just ask them how they’re doing.”
Age Action’s Head of Advocacy Justin Moran backs this up: “This story reminds us of the challenge of social isolation, the epidemic of loneliness in this country that’s going on in our housing estates, our towns and our villages.”
Moran says that by making contact with our elderly neighbours and ensuring that they know somebody looking out for them, that they are actually a part of a community and not just living in a community is of critical importance. “If you can do that, you will give them that little bit of extra help and assistance.”
Offering assistance
Kavanagh adds the gentle reminder that “if you’re going to the shop it isn’t a huge extra ask to just see if the person next door, who might live on their own, needs anything”.
Moran adds that it is possible to show you care without being intrusive. “If you’re going down to the shops anyway and you know your next door neighbour doesn’t get out much, you can knock in and see if they want any messages.
“I guarantee you that as you walk away that person is glad and relieved that somebody cared enough to check in because there are tens of thousands of people across this country who are watching and reading the media coverage about what happened to the McCarthy’s and thinking: ‘I recognise myself in some of that. That could happen to me’.”
Watching for warning signs
As far as warning signs go, it is possible to tell when someone is “more dishevelled or not as well kept as the last time ” they were seen, said Kavanagh.
Kavanagh notes how good we are when it comes to looking out for these warning signs among young people because of the epidemic of depression and poor mental health among young people.
“But it’s something that affects older people in a big way, particularly older people who are isolated,” he says.
“You can’t rely on already overstretched health and social services to intervene,” Moran concludes.
“We can’t turn away when we’ve noticed the curtains are drawn on the house or the post hasn’t been collected and we would encourage people to reach out to their neighbours.”