TVScope: Old Dogs - New Tricks, BBC One, 8.30pm, Thursday, September 7th
It's an all too familiar experience: you log on to your e-mail and, lo and behold, a deluge of spam clogs up your inbox. This morning's batch alone offered me the chance to purchase a "genuine" fake Rolex plus the latest way to increase my bra size or enlarge my penis.
Since I don't wear a watch, am more than well-endowed in the bosom department and haven't grown a penis since the last time I checked, none of these adverts appeal to me. But the question is, if I was in the market for a new timepiece or larger equipment, how genuine are these offers?
In Old Dogs - New Tricks, Esther Rantzen and Lynn Faulds Wood tear around the country in a bright yellow Volkswagen convertible, complete with a "Lynn" and "Esther" banner on the windscreen of the car, tracking down the promoters of dodgy products in the hopes of uncovering scams.
The products investigated in this episode included breast-enhancing pseudo-medicines sold under the names of Erdic, Nature's Gain and BreastGro.
Analysed for content, they were found to contain varying amounts of an active ingredient called phytoestrogen.
According to a leading professor of pharmacy, phytoestrogens can have effects on the body, including harmful ones. However, there is no proof they specifically increase breast size.
And just in case the men are feeling a little left out, a website company called Lativio has been promoting penis-enhancement products to those who feel cheated in the fig-leaf area. Promising to increase penis size by up to three inches, the ProEnhance patch system is accompanied by a DVD that demonstrates the effectiveness of the treatment in combination with penile exercises.
According to Prof Pierre Bouloux ( I kid you not!), the patch is unlikely to produce results and the exercises could even be dangerous.
Rantzen and Faulds Wood tracked down the promoters of these dubious products and took them to task. Confronting them with their spurious claims, the companies' frontmen stonewalled the investigators with scientific "evidence" and the proclamations of happy customers.
But Nature's Gain scored an own goal when it put forward an expert who told viewers the product did not work.
So the message from the Cagney and Lacy of investigative TV journalism? "Buyer beware" - the only thing that grows bigger as a result of these types of products is the manufacturer's bank balance!