CASE STUDY

These days, life is good for Graham Kenny, 18, first-year science student in University College, Dublin and Working Things Out…

These days, life is good for Graham Kenny, 18, first-year science student in University College, Dublin and Working Things Out participant. But it was not always so.

At age six, Graham was able to tell his mother that he was being sexually abused by a grandfather, and believed, leading to legal action.

"I was glad because the abuse stopped, but I wasn't treated as I wanted to be. People would be talking about me, and I would be asked to go out of the room. I knew what had happened was wrong. I wanted to be involved."

The sexual abuse which happened as Graham was starting primary school caused him to be quiet, withdrawn, a target for bullies. "They began calling me names, not picking me in games. People will say 'names will never hurt you' but they do. In some ways, it's easier to get over physical abuse."

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The bullying finally ended when he went to second level and made more friends.

But the early abuse had left its legacy.

"When I was 11 or 12, the age of puberty, I began to feel very upset about my appearance. I felt kind of dirty, almost tainted, that nobody would like me because of what had happened.

"I was very sad, very very upset, crying, losing a lot of sleep. I stayed inside a lot more and became withdrawn."

At age 14, his school was invited to take part in a stress survey by the Mater Child Guidance Service aimed at identifying young people at risk.

"Some of the others had a laugh, but I took it seriously and felt I could actually get something out of this. I had been sent to a psychiatrist at age six but was too young to benefit. Now I felt ready. I was called for an appointment and spoke with a doctor for a long time. She later brought in my mum, and I began to see the psychiatrist regularly for about two years. I was put on medication which helped.

"I also learnt to organise my thinking. Before, if I was down, other negative thoughts came in, what I call the snowballing effect. Through counselling I learnt to deal with things in the present instead of bottling them up, to put unhelpful thoughts out of your head and focus on something else. It sounds simple but takes a long time to learn. I've reached that point now that I'm really happy with everything I'm doing. Life is brilliant.

"I think there are probably many adults walking around with things they've never dealt with. It can take a long time to find out what you want in life. Because of what I've gone through, I've had time to think who I am."

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