Play is one of the most natural things for a child. It helps children cope with the daily trials of living and helps treat adults who have suffered trauma. Angie Mezzetti reports
A child makes sense of the world through play. It is what they do naturally and sentences that start with "you be the mammy and I'll be the daddy" or "I'm the doctor, pretend you are the nurse" will sound familiar to most of us from our own childhood or in our role as a parent, teacher or guardian.
According to Eileen Prendiville, an expert practitioner and teacher in play therapy, "children use toys as words and play as the sentences" when making sense of the world. Adults use speech as their primary language for expressing themselves - kids use play.
"Using play, in a very natural way, can work at core issues or problems for all children and particularly for those who have been through difficult life experiences of any kind," Prendiville says.
It helps them not only to make sense of what is happening in their lives but also to come to terms with things, she believes.
"Play as a creative medium is an incredible tool for all children. The use of play aids children's development and enables them to reach their full potential. "It helps kids sort out their confusions and kids are always confused," she says.
"Kids use play to learn about the world and develop physical, emotional and social skills. When something goes wrong, play gives them the resources to sort it out."
She has seen through over 25 years in practice that, for a lot of kids, ordinary play is enough for ordinary life.
For bigger difficulties, a child may have no reference point or no way of imagining what lies in store for them.
"Sometimes a child has to go for an operation or may have an illness that needs invasive medical procedures. Or say they are moving house or facing parental separation, bullying in school, or even house fires - all of these situations can be helped through play therapy," she says.
Prendiville began her training as a Montessori teacher but soon came to learn at first hand how useful its principles - of respecting the child's perspective and accepting that there are no failures - could be in treating and helping kids with issues who had been labelled 'learning disabled'.
She witnessed some powerful healing work happening simply doing the dishes with troubled kids when she worked in a residential centre years ago in Dublin and later with adults.
The youngsters there were in short-term care for maybe three, six or nine months and all interaction with staff was therapeutic.
"We know that if therapist and child are occupied in the same activity it works better because the child doesn't feel they are pinned to the spot, and washing dishes is water play in its own right."
She has often witnessed deep healing occur on a biodynamic level. "People store traumas in the body in a physical way and, when healing takes place at this level, energies get released from the body." And with amazing results.
"So many incredible things started to happen," she explains about her early experiences with play therapy. "On one occasion, a 12-year-old started to speak for the first time ever."
With an adult group another time, a 40-year-old woman, who had suffered abuse, started to walk again after many years when play sessions reawakened her interest in living.
"You don't always solve emotional problems by talking about them," Prendiville believes.
"Using creative mediums speeds up and gets right to the core of issues and can be really powerful with all age clients.
"Childhood traumas are resolved at the developmental level that the person was at when they experienced the trauma, regardless of the age they are now."
Using sand play - which involves a tray of sand about three inches deep and the size of a coffee table, and miniature figures and items - the client can project their experiences of the world onto the sand. They can use all their senses and it works from the deep core, from the subconscious level.
Prendiville subsequently went on to study the theoretical basis for treating both children and adults who had suffered abuse and she was a founder member of CARI (Children At Risk in Ireland) and took on the setting-up of services in Limerick for the mid-west region.
The centre in Limerick was the first in the country to get services up and running, and these included educational services around child abuse, workshops for public awareness and a helpline. Educational services were about helping parents, guardians and teachers to know what to do should a child disclose abuse.
"If you don't know what to do, you won't hear the child," she says. "Children don't use straight English.
"If a child says 'I don't like so and so', the parents might react by saying 'ah sure it's only tickles', but what people don't realise is the degree of grooming of adults by abusers.
"Abusers prepare adults so that they don't hear the child when the child says they feel uncomfortable. Some of the things adult offenders do to the child in front of the parents is touch them, put them on their knee, tickle them, kiss them and it can be playful.
"When the child says 'don't do that', the parent is embarrassed into saying 'sure Uncle Johnny or Aunty Mary is only tickling you'.
"The mother or father is then involved in the child doing something they don't want to do, and so the child thinks that the parent knows more about the sexual abuse than the parent really does."
Parents have a major role to play in recovery from any kind of abuse. "The child needs to be assured that the abuse has finished. The child must see that a responsible adult is committed to maintaining their safety and guaranteeing the end of the abuse."
Parents, she believes, also need to set the boundaries for daily issues like meal times and going to school. "They need to hold the authority and take charge in a safe way."
She believes that parents need to know the dynamics around abuse.
In the past, the belief was that it was best not to talk about it and that the child would forget about it. The child needs to know that a parent is available to talk and listen.
"Children don't tell all first time around, they'll test the ground first and, depending on the response they get, they will tell a bit more. Generally, it is about six months later before they tell all and kids need to experience that safety before they feel able to tell the worst parts."
For play therapy to succeed, the ground rules have to be very clearly laid out. Setting up an equal play-based relationship is vital, ideally for a set time of about an hour with no distractions, according to Prendiville.
The adult stays in charge of the safety and the child is in charge of the play. The child is boss of what they play with, they can lead, and can choose the materials and mediums and the way that they play. The child can spill the paint or make a mess.
"It's not about learning, it's about exploring and being in the moment. For the child, it's about using role-play and socio-dramatic play, to understand their own role and roles of others."
Prendiville is now running the Children's Therapy Centre which provides certified training programmes in play therapy for therapists from other branches of medicine, childcare and psychotherapy.
Having seen play therapy work, she holds strongly to the belief that if a child can make sense of confusing experiences while they are still a child, they don't have to go through all those years of carrying them as a problem.
"It's a shame the lost years there have been - all because of children having to wait till they are adults to sort out their problems."
Details of courses in play therapy are available from the website http://homepage.eircom.net/~playtherapy