The Bigger Picture:When I was very young, I found something that I truly loved to do. I connected with it completely - from my fingers and toes, my mind and spirit, and completely with my imagination. It was something that engaged every part of my being, it was a way of expressing myself and when I did it, I was happy.
Needless to say, I was successful at it. The fact that it required commitment, training and hard work didn't bother me.
I loved it and this pushed me further to challenge my boundaries and explore what I could achieve with it.
For me, doing this activity had little to do with fighting or competing against anyone else around me. I did it for me. I trained and got better simply because it gave me joy.
Deep inside my mind, I had a desire for it, and when others came along who did it equally as well or better, I didn't feel threatened or insecure. Rather, at some level, I couldn't help but admire their skill and take pleasure in watching them.
I was also very young when I lost access to this outlet. Not only could my parents not afford to keep it going, they also had questions about whether it was best for me to narrow my life so significantly in one direction.
As a result, they made a very difficult choice - as parents do - and I lost my dream.
As I got older, I could see I gained things from their decision. It opened up other new possibilities for me which, in turn, broadened and strengthened my life.
At the time, however, it was very painful - the most immediate hurt was the loss of self-expression; the lasting one was the sense of powerlessness and hopelessness I took forward with me. (I hated them, blamed them for it, right through my teenage years.)
For most of us, our early experiences are full of such moments of powerlessness. As children, we do not have control over the direction of our lives. Things that are deeply meaningful to us are lost for one reason or another.
And we carry this hurt into our lives. As a result, we stop ourselves from holding out hope, thinking big and believing in the possibility of new and different outcomes for ourselves in the future. In this way, we dare not dream.
Even when we are adults and are no longer powerless, most people cannot remember what their dreams might have been, let alone pursue them.
We struggle even to imagine to what experiences we might really connect. As a result, when opportunities or potential directions present themselves, we get confused.
"Would this really be an expression of me or is this just one more thing I should do?"
Furthermore, we are afraid to embark on a journey towards rediscovering our passions for fear of being disappointed in our lives again.
As such, we stop ourselves from experimenting with new directions, believing that such experiences would only prove that we don't know where we are going rather than bring us closer to understanding what we really want.
This hopelessness about our dreams is not only expressed by individuals, but also by the masses in society.
As a result, when we do venture out to try something new, countless people come out of the woodwork to tell us how it's a bad idea, it'll never work and we shouldn't bother.
They do this without even thinking, believing they are saving us heartache by discouraging us from trying something new. The cost to us, however, is enormous. It validates our early hopelessness and reinforces the powerlessness.
I believe we were meant to have a life fulfilled by our own dreams. I do not believe we were born to act out feelings of powerlessness. Achieving this, however, requires us to resist both the struggles inside our own heads and the struggles of others that would hold barriers out in front of us - "for our own good".
After this, we must choose to have enough confidence in ourselves to put what we want into action, and believe we have enough power available to ourselves to do so. Only then will we soar beyond our limits and reach our dreams.
Recently, I had the opportunity to return to my childhood dream. I must have overcome the early hopelessness enough that I could see myself doing it again and feel it right through my body.
When I went to put it into action, however, I couldn't access the facilities or equipment I needed. For a moment, I hit a wall, believing life was against me and I was "foolish" to have wanted more from it. It took me a few moments, however, to remember that this time I was in control of my life. If I didn't have access to what I needed now, I could organise it over time.
As adults, we are no longer powerless. We have access to resources and can make things happen. As long as we believe - in our vision and our goodness - there are no real limits. Every dream can come true.
Shalini Sinha works as a life coach and Bowen practitioner in her clinic, Forward Movement.