The Bigger Picture:The strongest force that determines the direction of our lives is our ability to make decisions. We exercise this power all the time. It is how we find ourselves in the situations we are in. Whether we are conscious of them or not, we make decisions constantly.
Our decisions take us in every direction: defining if we will have a job and what it will be, where we will live, the nature of our education, the quality of our physical health, even our life expectancy. The power of decision gives us the ability to change our mood, and, in this way, truly be agents of our own mental health. For example, I find music helpful.
Among my CDs, I have a collection I call simply "to inspire me". I will sometimes consciously use them to bring my attention out from an emotional struggle. For me, connecting with the love and insight of another human being - expressed through their rhythm, melody and lyrics - challenges the internal isolation I feel when facing into some of the world's difficult battles. Indeed, the power to redirect one's attention so that it strengthens and supports us includes the ability to make decisions.
Our identity plays its part in determining life outcomes. I would never deny the existence of our structured inequalities - the systematic and institutionalised inequalities that separate us and make it possible for us to exploit each other; the oppressions of our society. One's gender, colour, ethnicity, country of birth, class, sexuality, physical abilities, intellectual strengths, even the habits of our ancestors, all guide our life outcomes.
They do so because the hurts they inflict on us have been so deeply internalised, and passed down by so many through the generations, that most of us are now confused about our true power - and the power we have when we connect with each other. In the absence of clarity about ourselves, we sincerely act out the expectations of those roles. We unconsciously make decisions to carry on with the trend handed down to us.
Still, it is possible to change the course of our lives, even after generations. The difference between a decision that takes us in a direction "beyond our control" and one that moves us in a direction that empowers us is awareness. By developing our awareness for how we want things changed and the forces that keep us where we are, we can consciously and powerfully do something differently.
In this way, what defines a decision is not just thought, but action. Without action to support it, a decision is nothing more than an idea - intention with no evidence it exists in the world. It is only from our actions that we can see a decision.
There are times when it makes sense for us to focus on our thoughts and times when we must shift gears and concentrate on actions. Our level of insight does have an impact on our progress.
Not only do greater knowledge and understanding allow us to make clearer and more effective decisions, they make it possible to stop unconsciously following through on decisions handed down through history that are no longer helpful.
And yet, while the thought is what guides us, our life doesn't change because we thought about it. It changes only when we take action. It is a balance: the more conscious we are of the thoughts behind our actions, the more we drive the direction of our lives.
However, at another level, a shift needs to be made to take action so that the idea comes to life. We are, after all, building our life . . . and these are the tools.
However, taking action doesn't have to mean doing more. One of my favourite concepts from Indian philosophy is that of action and non-action, where even non-action is still action as it still defines and creates something. Sometimes we take action by following through on a decision to say no or do less. Often it's doing less here and more there . . . thus, bringing life into balance.
We take charge of our lives when more of the guiding decisions are taken consciously by us. And so, it is a useful exercise to notice what decisions we are making awarely and what ones we've taken unawarely. I find exploring the unaware ones most interesting. They give us the chance to gain clarity in situations that are otherwise frustrating because they pull us in directions we didn't want to be going in.
When building awareness, experiencing a diversity of perspectives is helpful. When taking action, accessing encouragement and support make all the difference.
If we wish to change something that goes against the grain of an historic habit handed down to us through the generations, we are likely to get confused in the process. Thus, having people who can remind us of the choice of our directions can keep us on course. And so, like always, our connections, relationships and support systems play a strong role in enabling us to make changes.
www.shalinisinha.com
Shalini works as a life coach , and practises the Bowen technique in Dublin and Wexford.