Emma Rice (24) who lives in Blanchardstown, Co Dublin, would like to be in the workforce. But for the past five years she has been the full-time carer of her mother, Olive, who was devastated by a stroke at the age of 47.
A working woman when she was struck down, Olive lost her speech, became partially paralysed and uses a wheelchair. At the age of 19, Emma quit her job and took charge of the household so that her younger brother, who was doing his Leaving Cert at the time, could complete his exams. Thanks to Emma, both her brothers are working. She also has two children, aged two and four.
A typical day will find Emma run off her feet, standing at the cooker trying to make soup for her toddlers one moment, then dashing across the room the next to attend to her mother, who needs constant care. It's labour-intensive and can be "chaotic".
So unstructured is it that Emma finds it hard to find time to do the ironing, or even to peel a few potatoes. While other women her age are enjoying paid employment and social freedom, Emma is trapped at home. To get anywhere, she has to push a buggy with one hand and a wheelchair with the other over bumpy footpaths, in the rain, with not a wheelchair accessible toilet in sight.
She doesn't receive a carer's allowance, which is means-tested. The family survives on her partner's income and her mother's pension. "I'm very angry that I don't have the option to work," she says. "The Government doesn't acknowledge what you are doing - or recognise that if you weren't doing it, they'd have to pay someone to do it. It's a Catch-22 situation."
Survival for Emma means being "extremely well organised". She wakes early, gets the kids fed and dressed, then takes the four-year-old to school on the bus. The round-trip journey, one-and-a-half miles each way, can take an hour. When she returns, she gets her mother out of bed. Three mornings a week, she gets up earlier still to get her mother ready to attend a day-centre from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.
The grinding, day-to-day responsibility is only part of Emma's burden - not that she complains. She wants her mother to have "independence and dignity", and for herself she wants a normal mother-daughter relationship - yet it's difficult. "I am doing things for her that you'd do for a child, but she's my mother. You have to learn to be together in a new kind of relationship and still be mother and daughter. Nobody tells you how emotionally difficult that is. Nobody tells you how to cope.
"You have to be a doctor, a psychologist, a physiotherapist, a daughter, a friend. I find it so frustrating. I am constantly saying to my partner, why did no one think to explain this to me?"
At a time in her life, with two young children, when she should have a mother to give advice and provide a shoulder to cry on, Emma feels "robbed".
"Don't get me wrong, I'm lucky she is alive, I wouldn't want her anywhere but with me, but I am grieving in a way for what I have lost."
The research by the Irish Red Cross clearly shows that the majority of carers, like Emma, feel isolated and have difficulty gathering the information required.
To assist carers, the Irish Red Cross has developed a free Helping You to Care pack, which is available by contacting the Helping You to Care careline on 1850 650 651.