You want the good news? The EU is not going to force Ireland to extract water charges from its citizens. The bad news is that there is every likelihood it will shame the Government into securing payments reflecting water use.
The not so gentle persuader is coming in the form of a new EU framework policy for surface and groundwater. The European Commission standpoint is: water consumers should pay the full economic cost of the resources they use. The policy will reflect this, if not to every letter.
It is expected to come into force within 15 months. Already, Greenpeace has attacked the commission for leaving too much to the discretion of individual governments. It describes much of its thrust as "subsidiarity with bells on". Ireland by funking the water charge issue of late has been ringing one of those bells.
It will stop short of compulsion but only just, as anyone above average household water use is unlikely to avoid charges whatever form they take. The chairman of the European Parliament's powerful Environment Committee, British Labour MEP Ken Collins says: "Ireland is not going to be forced to have water meters (in homes). But Ireland will be compelled to make the costs of delivering water explicit."
Is an inevitable consequence charging on the basis of quantity with perhaps some threshold for standard household users? The requirements could, he says, be interpreted differently from country to country. "As I see it, Ireland is never short of water. What you put into it is the issue."
But increasing recognition across Europe that water is a resource, in tandem with the application metered charges - rather than the controversial and abandoned Irish system of flatrate service charges - is encouraging conservation, by penalising excessive use and wasting of water. France has reduced consumption by 45 per cent over 10 years. It is hard to see how Ireland may avoid the real economics of water?
The policy will also require evaluation of life forms that water is or not supporting as a measure of quality. The environmental lobby, he says, feel this will improve water quality across the community. The MEP does accept this is a vague and ineffectual approach, given growing water pollution. "People will have to look more closely at what they are putting into water, look at why the quality is not as good as it ought to be, why certain life-forms are no longer in the water."
Rivers and lakes will require water of such a standard that it sustains life forms rather than be merely "a neutralised substance". He admits to being concerned by the extent of water deterioration within the EU but says there will soon be a uniform way of looking at water and a means of rectifying quality shortfalls.
The Environmental Protection Agency will play the lead Irish role in this. It has already spelt out current shortcomings in various reports. They suggest more affluence, overgrazing, excessive fertiliser use and increasing farming activity have contributed to ecologicial changes and caused adverse effects on still relatively clean waters - though tap water is generally of good quality.
EPA water specialist Dr Paul Toner says increasing nutrient enrichment (eutrophication) is "the main chronic problem". He accepts insufficiently thorough monitoring of lakes has coincided with a worsening of their condition, but that is soon to be rectified.
Quality objectives with EU directives in mind are set by the EPA but it's the appropriate Minister who sets standards and much rests on local authorities to implement them. The Department of the Environment's Managing Ireland's Rivers and Lakes strategy is an attempt to put more focussed protection in place as the EU watches closely over its shoulder.
Infrequent use of charges for cost recovery represents an anomaly in environmental policy, the EPA believes. Water use, waste and contamination is environmental degradation. The burden (in tax) is placed on people other than those responsible for causing "environmental damage".
In any event, Ireland's new "no water charges era" is probably all but ended. Those in new housing developments where meters are installed and larger water users were always sceptical about it continuing to be free. The Vintners Federation of Ireland believes an anomaly-ridden charges system is already in force.
Its President Paul O'Grady recently warned of "civil disobedience" as meters continue to be installed in pubs by local authorities. He believes that water rates paid by publicans have been shown to rise by as much as 500 per cent when meters are installed. The VFI want either an agreed and acceptable charge base to be considered for all the country or the charges should be abolished.
Water charges will never be off political agendas, especially when the European push for metering, if not flat charges - sustained by a strong economic and environmental case - is relentless.