Michael and his wife tried three sessions with the mediation service in a rural centre but he said things didn't work out from his point of view and that he probably went to the process too early with high expectations.
His separation was at a particularly acrimonious stage.
"I suppose I expected the mediator to give us a structure for the financial arrangements that we could just strap our requirements into. But it didn't work that way. I thought they would be more pushy.
"The mediation person just expected us to come up with all the answers and draw up the agreement ourselves and really we were not in the position to do this."
The experience for Joanne and her partner in Dublin was more successful. They were gone beyond the bickering part of the relationship breakdown when she and her husband went for family mediation.
"I was very pleased and I thought they went to great lengths to be utterly fair. When I first rang up they said they wouldn't agree to see us until my partner phoned them separately, which took a few weeks and delayed the start of the waiting period.
"Even a few sessions into mediation they would not see him without me because I could not make the meeting."
It took about 10 weeks for an appointment but she is now at the stage where they are waiting for the final draft of their agreement.
"It has taken us about seven appointments," she says "and it really helped us to work out the finances. We knew we could not afford two houses so the mediator suggested we could buy an apartment and get a mortgage on the house.
"They have ideas from dealing with other couples but they leave the decisions up to you." Joanne was glad she got a female mediator but believes she thought Joanne was too easy.
"I went in with the attitude that I didn't want to continue the fight."
Eamonn Quinn, secretary of the Unmarried and Separated Fathers of Ireland, says the feedback they have on the Family Mediation Service is good generally.
However, he believes that access to the children should be sorted out as a priority.
"If access is sorted out first, then maintenance and accommodation will fall into place. If you know that mother and children are remaining in the home then the father should be afforded suitable accommodation so that he is not dumped in a bedsit."
The Family Mediation Service is funded by Government through the Family Support Agency.
www.fsa.ie Family mediation service: 01 634 4320