When it comes to the battle of the bulge, there's no shortage of celebrity-fronted DVDs vying for your attention, writes LAURA SLATTERY
AS THE PEOPLE who live in the flat below mine have probably figured out by now, I’m prone to outbreaks of jumping up and down in my living room. Twist squats and double hops, back flicks and scissor kicks, quicksteps and combat moves are my weather-proof exercise of choice.
Some days the sessions are shorter than others, and the landings heavier. Some weeks my feet never leave the floor at all. But when I am in enough of a good mood to lunge, bend and hip-roll my way into an even better mood, there’s a modest but growing library of fitness DVDs staring out at me, whispering: “Play me”.
I used to think all that toning, stretching and deep-breathing stuff was a tedious use of anyone’s time. But I was younger and thinner then and the great carbohydrate stomach conspiracy had yet to leave me with a silhouette that, without consistent workout-based intervention, is best described as “second trimester”.
Happily, the fitness DVD market annually churns out fresh batches of celebrity-fronted products designed to capture the attention of people like me who have a deeper than ever desire to limber up, but are bored of the same old hokey-cokey routines. Here are five newish ones, tried and tested for their endorphin-producing and wobble-blitzing powers.
Nadia Sawalha – Fat to Fab Workout ****
I accidentally typed this title as " Fat to Flab", which doesn't quite capture the weight-loss journey that actress and TV presenter Sawalha is trying to convey. Fat to Faboriginally came out in 2010 but is now available from a certain online retailer in a bargain "Get Slim With the Stars" double-pack with an old favourite of mine, Claire Richards' 5 Step Fat Attack.
The moves on Sawalha’s DVD are quite repetitive, but that in itself makes them good for days your brain is even more sluggish than your body. Your trainer and all-round winner of the genetic lottery is Deanne Berry, who takes Sawalha through a series of “spotties”, “sumos” and side stretches, interspersing toning exercises with aerobic “heart raisers”.
There are fits of girly giggles throughout, though they fall curiously muted when Berry implores her celebrity client to “Give me some doggie”. If, like me, your thighs are of the “heat rash” variety, then you’ll appreciate the agony Nadia feigns when Berry tells her to “hit the wall” on her squats.
Strictly Come Dancing: Dance School ***
The first two Strictly Come DancingDVD spin-offs, Strictly Come Dancersizeand Strictly Come Dancing: The Workout, take the glitterball trophy for both fitness and choreography. However, the third effort, Strictly Come Dancing: Strictly Fit, was undone by messy execution – it was the Nancy Dell'Olio of Strictly DVDs.
This latest one, presented by reigning champion Aliona Vilani and fellow professionals Artem Chigvintsev and Katya Virshilas, shows signs of improvement. It concentrates on teaching the basic moves behind the salsa, cha cha cha and – most thrillingly – the rumba, where Vilani shows you how to do figure-of-eights, turns and “natural” arm styling. (She lost me at the “quick-quick-slow”.)
Once you have, ahem, mastered the steps, you proceed to the “dance floor”, where there’s a mere four-minute loop for each of the three routines. As the title suggests, this is less of an all-encompassing workout and more of a gateway DVD for someone who would like to take a dance class, but wants to double-check that they still have legs first.
The Only Way is Essex: The Essexercise Workout ***
The blonde trio of Sam, Billie and Lydia from the ITV2 semi-reality show follow trainer Glenn Ball through three 20-minute “100 per cent wicked workouts” called the “totally retro reem” (dance), “burn those carbs before marbs” (combat) and the “well jel workout” (a toning section, with some fun floor-tipping moves).
I've consulted the Urban Dictionaryand am still in a bit of a loss about what "reem" is supposed to mean, but "marbs" is short for "holiday in Marbella" and "well jel" makes more sense when you see it in the sentence "make your friends well jel". The "reem" section is an esoteric mishmash – a clubby wave-your-hands-in-the-air-like-you-just-don't-care routine, but the intensity improves during the combat session (performed in wet-look trousers), with Lydia demonstrating the punches in the manner reminiscent of someone who would be quite handy in a fight.
They sing along, give Ball cheek and look Essex-fabulous. “We don’t need those support knickers anymore,” says Billie. “Support knickers?! We’re not 70!” says Sam.
Giggs Fitness ***
"Hi, I'm Ryan Giggs and this is my new DVD, Giggs Fitness." There's absolutely no messing about on this surly piece of merchandise, which was released before anyone had ever heard the word "superinjunction" and modestly promises "strength and conditioning inspired by yoga".
Giggs is a man of few words, which has served him well over his astonishingly long playing career for Manchester United and does the trick here. The absence of any sweat-inducing, fast-paced cardio section means I don’t expect I’ll use this very much, but then it’s not aimed at me. Its target audience is men – specifically thirty-something men attempting to figure out a way to extend their five-a-side careers.
The main conditioning and recovery circuits focus on building up the core muscles you need “to have that power, to have that explosive movement that you need if you play football”, with no-nonsense trainer Sarah Ramsden concentrating on hamstrings, groins, shins and glutes.
To be honest, it’s a relief to get through a fitness DVD for once without hearing the evil words “bingo wings”.
Davina: Ultimate Target *****
At the time of writing, my sides are very much in pain from what TV presenter Davina McCall refers to as “the BATTERING”. For this is McCall’s eighth fitness DVD, and there’s no using bottles of water for weights when she’s around – that’s just amateur.
By now, she tells us, we should have gone and bought a pair of 1kg or 2kg dumbbells, so we can swing them around in the “Brilliant Boot Camp” section like we’ve got arms of steel.
This is not as humourless as it sounds – in fact, face-pulling Davina and her trainer sidekicks Jackie and Mark are reassuringly adult, with imaginative names for signature moves such as “Space Invaders”, “Brucies” (think Bruce Forsyth’s entrance pose) and “The Grovelling Jester”.
Ultimate Target contains two 30-minute workouts, a 15-minute abs section and three shorter workouts, which allows for multiple routine combinations.
"My trousers are falling down," exclaims McCall during her Fabulous Fat Burner, to which sidekick Mark shoots back: "You're losing weight already!"
Twist squats and double hops, back flicks and scissor kicks, quicksteps and combat moves feature in the DVD workouts on the market.
