That's men for you: Padraig O'Morain's guide to men's health
One day I observed a couple about to order their lunch in a restaurant.
"Shall we share?" the man asked. The woman agreed.
Ten minutes later a waiter appeared with one burger and chips, two knives and two forks. The couple tucked in, eating off the same plate with what I suppose might have been an endearing display of togetherness.
Not to me, it wasn't. I am a man who needs his space. The prospect of sharing a meal off the same plate as someone else is more than I wish to contemplate.
Debra Mashek, an American psychologist, has devoted much of her career to studying the issue of closeness among couples and particularly the desire for less closeness.
She is one of the authors of The Handbook of Closeness and Intimacy, an academic work which is by no means bedtime reading despite the title.
Her work suggests the romantic idea that people who love each other want to be together all the time is mistaken.
There are, of course, those who would rather never be out of each other's sight - but in her research she found that more than half of partners crave a little space of their own now and then even if they are in love.
Her findings suggest that more men than women want their own space and time, but the difference between the sexes in this regard is not a great one.
Some of this has to do with the difference between introverts and extroverts.
Introverts like time to themselves. They are marked by a desire to contemplate things rather than rushing in like their extroverted brethren.
This is probably why there are more extroverts than introverts. If you an introverted wildebeest on the African plains, for instance, you are more likely than your extroverted fellows to be eaten by a lion. Why? Because as you stand there contemplating the lion, your extroverted mates have sensibly galloped off.
Still, those of us who are introverts - about 30 per cent of people, according to some estimates - are happy enough with our lot in life despite the risk from big cats. All we want is a little space.
But if the big cat in question happens to be a partner who prowls around the house after us, then we are likely to become very irritated introverts indeed.
This sort of problem feeds on itself, as Ms Mashek and other writers have pointed out. If one partner wants less closeness and the other wants more, then according as one withdraws the other pursues. The one who wants space withdraws still further and the one who wants closeness pursues ever more ardently.
So you end up with two people who are irritable, hurt and fed up.
Sometimes couples sort this out by allowing themselves to get really close and then having a big row to re-establish their space. Though it works, this is rather wearing on the nerves.
Of course, there was probably a time when they were so infatuated that they wanted to spend every second together. But infatuation wears off and couples face a new challenge: it is one thing to want to be with each other all the time but it is quite another to have to be with each other all the time.
The answer is to give your mate some space. I know families in which people are deeply loving towards each other but in which it is perfectly normal for people to go off to their separate rooms when they feel like it.
You don't have to go as far as Suzie Quatro who told the BBC recently that she and her husband like their own space - so they live in different countries.
All you have to do is be aware that space matters, and allow for it.
And here is a tip for husbands: next time you're in trouble for spending too much time in the pub or on the golf course, just explain to your wife that you wanted to let her have her own space. That'll work. Honest!
Padraig O'Morain is a journalist and counsellor.