I came late to golf after a lifetime of contempt for golfers and golf clubs. It wasn’t so much the game itself that was off-putting, although it looked pretty pointless, but golf clubs appeared forbiddingly smug and exclusive and the people who played seemed to like it that way.
And they obviously loved rules since there were so many of them: rules about how to dress in the clubhouse, how to behave on the golf course and rules about how the game must be played.
The rules of golf and the associated decisions on them issued by the ruling bodies every two years run to far greater length than the written constitution of any country on the planet.
When a newcomer does decide to try the game, it’s a shock to discover it’s much harder than it looks on television. Hitting the ball at all, let alone knocking it in the right direction further than you could throw it, is a challenge. Most beginners agree with Winston Churchill’s judgment: “Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose”.
And yet, even though I’m not very good at it, I quickly came to love it when I hit a few balls, almost by chance, on holidays 16 years ago.
For me, it’s not to do with winning; I don’t (or so seldom, and at such a low level, that it scarcely merits the word ‘winning’).
It’s not really even about competing, although playing against someone, or in a competition, is nearly always more interesting than just knocking the ball around.
For me, golf is about the game, the places we play and the people we play with.
The game is curiously addictive; there’s a compulsive kick in trying to get the ball in the hole in the lowest possible number of shots, using not only your hitting skills, but working out a strategy that gives you the best chance of success - for example, hitting two short, but safe, shots instead of trying one longer, and riskier, one.
Most golf holes involve some kind of strategic thinking as well as physical skills, and every round of golf is a test of temperament, perseverance and imagination as well as hitting the ball. It’s why players still find new challenges every time they play a course they might have played hundreds of times before.
Above all, the game is nearly always played in beautiful places. Even modest courses comprise many acres of well-kept grass, and many courses offer an inspiring four-hour walk. It takes about four hours for 18 holes - yes, it’s time-consuming, but for many of us golfers the lengthy period of idleness in the company of friends is one of the game’s greatest charms.
And, perhaps most surprisingly of all, many of those friends turn out to be members of those seemingly smug and exclusive golf clubs. Perhaps things have changed over the years, and perhaps some clubs are better - or worse - than others. But no matter where you live in Ireland, nowadays you'll be close to a club which is relaxed, friendly and welcoming. Most clubs are looking for new members, the once-off joining fees have gone in most places since the recession hit, subscriptions have been reduced in many clubs and there are deals and special packages, including coaching, for newcomers all over the place.