GRANDPARENTS CAN be the forgotten casualties of a broken relationship. Treoir, the National Federation of Services for Unmarried Parents and their Children, receives many calls from grandparents caught up in the fall-out when parents split up.
"Grandparents come to us devastated that they can no longer have contact with the child they adore and have had a relationship with for years," says Treoir chief executive Margaret Dromey.
"Society does not recognise the pain of loss such grandparents endure."
Changes to the Children Act in 1997 gave grandparents the right to apply to the District Court for leave to apply for access, in other words to ask for the court's permission to apply for access, but few would want to go down that adversarial route. It is the paternal grandparents who are most likely to lose out, although Dromey acknowledges that some mothers make "heroic efforts" to keep their children in touch with both sets of grandparents.
"Two parents and two sets of grandparents can give you love and support; in an ideal world a child has that right," she adds. "The more people who want to love a child the better, and who are we to deny a child that love?"
Being There for Them, a booklet for grandparents whose grandchildren are born outside marriage, is available from Treoir, which runs a confidential information service on tel: 1890 252084