New research shows that boys are more likely than girls to harm themselves as a result of bullying
THE FILM'S called Mean Girls, not "Mean Boys". Based on the 2002 best-seller Queen Bees and Wannabes, Mean Girlsexposed psychological school bullying as a uniquely feminine head-wreck. We began to hear about girls self-harming as part of the phenomenon.
Around the same time, we became alarmed by the rising suicide rate in boys. Our young men aged 15-19 have the third-highest rate of suicide in Europe, four times the rate of girls.
Irish boys, we thought, bypassed self-harm and went straight to self-destruction. The conventional wisdom was that girls toyed with killing themselves more often, while boys tried less often and usually succeeded.
We were wrong. Boys were self-harming all along but they were hiding it so well we didn’t see it.
“Boys are more likely than girls to self-harm as a result of school bullying,” asserts Ella Arensman of the National Suicide Research Foundation.
She headed a team in Cork that investigated the bullying experiences of 3,881 boys and girls aged 15-17 in 39 Irish schools as part of the Europe-wide Child and Adolescent Self-harm study.
Nearly one in 10 Irish teenagers – 9.1 per cent of boys and girls – have self-harmed at least once, usually by cutting or overdosing. The factors that cause boys and girls to self-harm are different.
The girls tend to have low self-esteem, relationship problems with parents and friends and, disturbingly, an experience of forced sexual activity.
The male profile involves anxiety, impulsiveness, school problems such as bullying, which they rarely talk about, and schoolwork difficulties, which they get blamed for. Boys most at risk of self-harm have had the bullying escalate without intervention from friends and adults. These boys also tend to have friends or family members who have engaged in self-harm, and they may use alcohol and/or drugs to cope with their anxiety. Arensman also found that being gay raised boys’ risk of being bullied and, consequently, self-harming.
For girls, talking about being bullied isn’t easy, while boys – whatever their sexual orientation – are even more reticent, says Arensman. “Boys are hiding self-harm. They are more reluctant and ashamed to come forward. They still believe that a man does not cry or come forward about abuse.”
Yet at the same time, boys have been influenced by a greater openness about feelings since the 1990s. Just as some girls have become more aggressive, many boys have been becoming more emotionally intelligent.
“The genders are coming closer and what was typical for a female in the 1990s, has gradually expanded to boys and vice versa,” Arensman says.
Schools need to urgently address the issue of self-harm in boys, and take account of these gender differences when approaching the problem, she advises.
Experts in the field have welcomed the research. Mona O’Moore, of the Anti-Bullying Centre at TCD, believes “the reason why boys are more at risk of self-harming than girls may be due to the fact that boys have fewer outlets to express their despair and anger/revenge”.
“Boys are also under greater pressure to cope and be self-reliant and not show their feelings. Self-harming is a very physical act providing the release of pent-up emotions, which girls can more easily achieve through talking or writing diaries.
“Whatever the reasons for self-harming, it is critical that educationalists, GPs and AE staff get sharper at spotting the telltale signs of victimisation and, when they are evident, they need to act. What Ireland needs is a manifesto against bullying.”
Tackling homophobia is another challenge. Odrhán Allen, mental health spokesman with Glen (Gay and Lesbian Equality Network), comments: “We continue to be alarmed by figures that indicate the severe impact that homophobic bullying in schools has on the mental health of lesbian and gay young people.
“Our own research, Supporting LGBT Lives, found over a third of under- 25s had seriously thought about ending their lives in the previous year. The research highlights the priority that needs to be given to addressing homophobic bullying and making schools a safe and inclusive learning environment for lesbian and gay young people.”
Parents of all boys need to be vigilant, says John Connolly of the Irish Association of Suicidology. “Be very alert. Know where your kids are. Take responsibility, make sure they are streetwise and know what they’re doing on the internet.”
The bottom line for parents of boys, says Arensman, is to “help him to be assertive and make sure he always has someone to talk to”.
The study is published in
Psychological Medicine
, Cambridge University Press and in
Social Science and Medicine
, Elsevier Journals
WHAT'S BEHIND THE SELF-HARM?
Jack is in fifth year, he has stopped going out with friends in the evenings and his performance in school has disimproved.
He’s become withdrawn, can’t concentrate and has lost a lot of weight. His family don’t know that he is experiencing a sexual identity crisis. He’s afraid of their reaction and feels he doesn’t know who to trust.
His family is also unaware that Jack has been receiving bullying texts and e-mails over the past year and that recently he was physically assaulted, increasing his fear and anxiety.
He has suicidal thoughts when he has been drinking a lot, and recently harmed himself for the first time. His family still don’t know.
