How do you get children to take homework seriously?
MY SIX-year-old son has been getting more regular homework since starting senior infants last September. I am finding it a terrible struggle to get him to sit down and focus. He just doesn't seem to want to do it. Any tips on homework?
Having a set plan for the evening that includes sitting down to homework is an important first step. The regularity of having a "homework time" that is set every day means that getting started on homework becomes more of a habit and that makes its completion so much easier. The earlier you start it, the more energy they will have and the less their exhaustion will lead to grumpiness and refusal.
Generally, with younger children, it is a good idea to sit them at the kitchen table where you can keep an eye on and assist them. As they get older, they may find the kitchen to be too distracting and so having a desk in their own room might be the solution.
If you find that your child is very easily distracted then try to structure the homework time so that other children are occupied elsewhere or that you don't have other jobs that you need to be doing and so can stick with them.
An adult's attention span is about 20 minutes and a child's can be much shorter. So don't expect your child to sit and work without regular breaks. With younger children, time their work periods for about 10 minutes (or shorter if they don't even last that long) and then give them a short break.
When your child looks at the list of homework to be done it can be very off-putting. Procrastination can start early, with children avoiding beginning because they feel overwhelmed by the amount to be done.
You can help by breaking down the homework tasks and presenting each part of it separately to your child. Take out one book at a time, rather than piling up all the books needed for all the homework.
Sometimes children (especially young children and those with concentration difficulties) like to be challenged to see how fast they can achieve a piece of homework or to see how much they can do in a specified time. So use a stopwatch and make a game of it.
The process of simply doing homework is more important than what homework was done. To get your child feeling good about doing their work you need to acknowledge the effort they put in rather than whether they achieved it all or got it all right.
Attempted homework is better than no homework done at all. If in doubt, talk to your child's teacher. They have lots of experience of this and may have strategies that they use to encourage your child to work in the class that you can then apply at home.
FOR THE last three months since becoming toilet-trained, my three-year-old son has been going around with his hand almost constantly down the front of his pants fiddling with his bits. No matter what we have tried he just won't stop. Help!
It is really common, especially for boys but also for girls, for small children to "fiddle with their bits", as you put it. As soon as access is made easier by the arrival of pants or knickers, rather than a nappy, it can become a bit of a field day for a child.
Often they touch their private parts simply because it feels nice. Sometimes this develops into habit and it can be very self-soothing for your child (a bit like thumb-sucking or having a "blankie"). Occasionally, the touching is associated with an anxiety, but that is usually more likely for an older child.
For most children this is just a phase as they do tire of what is initially a novelty. But you can intervene to encourage them to stop.
Intervening involves giving them a clear verbal message that it is okay to touch themselves, but not in public. So focus on the message that there is a time and place for this and when other people are around is neither the time nor the place.
You then back this up with physically moving their hand away from their "bits" and distracting them with something else.
Try to avoid getting angry or upset as you don't want your child to develop any anxiety about their private parts. The trick is to stay calm and remember that it is all pretty natural and you want them to learn that their bodies are good but need to be private.
David Coleman is a clinical pyschologist and the author of Parenting is Child's Play. He has also presented two series of Families in Trouble on RTÉ television. He is currently working on a new series called 21st Century Child.
Readers' queries are welcome, but David Coleman regrets he cannot enter into individual correspondence. Questions should be e-mailed to healthsupplement@irish-times.ie