Horror health stories

Heart Beat: "Up the close and down the stair, In the house with Burke and Hare, Burke's the butcher Hare's the thief, Knox, …

Heart Beat: "Up the close and down the stair, In the house with Burke and Hare, Burke's the butcher Hare's the thief, Knox, the man who buys the beef."

This children's rhyme came to mind because Sir Walter Scott's diary of January 28th, 1829 notes that Burke was hanged on that day before an immense crowd. The mob also bayed for the heads of Hare and Knox.

Burke and Hare, both Irish, were making a few bob by selling bodies to Dr Knox for dissection. Grave robbing had become extremely difficult and was frowned upon in the best circles and our heroes, having made some money by selling a cadaver to Dr Knox, saw a gap in the market.

Their next logical step was to murder a few destitute people to keep the production line going. Like many money-making schemes it became unstuck when Dr Knox's medical students recognised some of the bodies including that of prostitute Mary Paterson.

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Hare turned King's evidence and his testimony convicted Burke who became the scapegoat for the macabre industry. Dr Knox was not charged but his career was effectively destroyed and indeed there was much clamour for his trial and execution.

This distressing incident put an end to the illicit trade in bodies and the British parliament moved to legalise the procurement of cadavers for dissection to abolish the black market trade.

This was achieved by the Anatomy Act of 1832 which allowed unclaimed bodies, mostly from the workhouse, to be used for medical purposes. This effectively put the grave robbers out of business and there was no question of redundancy payments. The doctor, as usual, got off; nothing ever changes.

That's the bedtime story for today; useful if the children are proving a handful. I suppose it's illegal to tell them stories like that now as it will probably stunt their development rather than simply make them behave. Such will pass into history like the old fashioned clip in the ear. Is the world a better place?

I have lots of stories about the olden days and I have noticed that when I start, my listeners' eyes glaze over and they make a rapid exit. One advantage of writing a column is that I can't see the readers' eyes as I extol the virtues of the past.

I must say that whatever wondrous tales I can recount, I am sure that none will ever match the gothic horror tale of "Mary Harney and the Health Service". This will be guaranteed to put the frighteners on every man, woman and child in the country who can read. It also has the advantage of being a serial horror story, revealing fresh terrors every week.

I can see the chapter headings now; "Mary Harney overcomes the consultants", "Mary Harney slays the nurses", "Mary Harney vanquishes the GPs", "Mary Harney and the vanishing trolleys". I would hope the last chapter might be "Mary Harney wakes up", but I think this unlikely. I don't think the last line will be "and they all lived happily ever after". As for me I can't put it better than the Bible, "an horror of great darkness fell upon him" (Genesis).

I know there is an election coming and that we can expect all sorts of egregious nonsense. Mostly this does little harm but I suspect that this may not be the case this time. I feel great harm will come to the patients and to the morale of those providing the service by firmly establishing such an overt and unashamed two- tier service. What is proposed is nothing less.

Don't forget folks, you will at some stage be the patients, this is no time for an "I'm all right Jack" approach. Why do you pay health insurance and what do you expect in return?

It is difficult to retain balance in this quicksand of contradictory nonsense and even writing about this floundering mess makes me angry. It seems from the perspective of those who have to provide the service that it is a case of "we're all out of step but our Mary". I hope I am wrong.

As I write, the debacle of the paediatric services unfolds. Yet another report says one major paediatric hospital near a general hospital and with good communications and easily accessible. We are to be told in two months.

Common sense would indicate the Mater/Temple Street site, particularly as €46 million has already been invested in the site, planning permission obtained, and everything ready to go. More land, if required, should be available across the road when Mountjoy prison moves. Can anybody give a convincing reason why this should not be possible?

Let us have no wrangles between Government Departments; they are all supposed to be working for the people. Can nobody in Government see the logic of proceeding on this site, rather than starting again from scratch?

I was a Mater consultant and a consultant in Crumlin. There is inescapable logic in moving the paediatric cardiac surgical unit to this site which already houses the National Cardiac Surgical Unit.

Where is it to be? Who owns the land? Will it be built by the State or will it be another public/private partnership like the infamous M50? In the event of the hospital being elsewhere other than the Mater/Temple Street site, have we just kissed another €46 million goodbye?

I think very many of us have had enough of arrogant costly incompetence. We will, however, have our day and we will not forget.

Maurice Neligan is a cardiac surgeon