'I've never known Mam not drinking'

"I was 11 when I began to realise how much my Mam drank," says James, now aged 15.

"I was 11 when I began to realise how much my Mam drank," says James, now aged 15.

"She had been drinking for a long time by then and slowly I began to understand why my brother and I had been looked after by our aunties and our granny so much. Mam had been in hospital and Dad couldn't mind us because he was going in to see her all the time.

"Every Sunday we used to go to the pub. I thought that was normal, that most families did the same. Now that I'm grown up I know what most families do on a Sunday - they'd be at home having a family dinner and maybe some guests around to visit. My friend's family seemed perfect to me.

"I was taken on holidays with them a few times and I had such a good time with them, but there were always consequences because of how upset I would get to be going home. I wished I could have been born into their family.

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"There were some really bad times. My brother's a diabetic and he has to take injections and look after himself. When my Mam was disturbing us at night and waking him up, it was affecting his health, and affecting him emotionally as well. My Dad had to get a barring order against her, but when the barring order was broken, the police came and took her away.

"It was really disturbing because they put her into one of those trolley-type things that you lift up and get strapped into. I looked out the window and I saw her getting wheeled down the lane and into the ambulance. I was about 13 at that time. Things got really bad then because there were people on the road that would have seen it. They would have looked at my Mam and thought that she was mental. At that stage, I thought she was, too.

"She was depressed a lot. When she was taken to Mountjoy prison, she tried to hang herself. There were overdoses, and one time she tried to jump into the Liffey. She'd had a rough upbringing; she was at the Goldenbridge school and she got abused. I think that's what drove her to alcoholism.

"We don't live with her now. No way would I live with her. I used to visit her a lot more than I do now. But I've got my Junior Cert this year and I don't see her every weekend. I think it's going to stay that way as I go into Transition year because seeing her less has helped me.

"I've never known my Mam not drinking, but I've seen photographs of her when she was sober and she looks a lot different. Her face has gone so frail now, and she's only 40.

"My Dad was in Al-Anon for about three months before he told us. When he heard about Alateen I decided to give it a try. I was really, really nervous about going but once I started attending regularly I loved it. You make friends that are in the same situation. You can relate to each other. It really helps.

"If my Dad hadn't had Al-Anon he would have cracked up. He would have walked out of the house and left us with my Mam. Al-Anon helped him realise that he had to keep control of his life. And my life too."