During the 1980s psychologist Dr Reuven Bar-On researched why some people possess greater emotional wellbeing than others. He studied how people with modest gifts were often more successful than those who were intellectually superior.
At that time psychiatrist Howard E. Book observed that a person could have a brilliant mind yet not achieve anything approaching his potential. In his work as an organisational consultant he found that most of the issues confronting the firms that sought his advice had nothing to do with strategic planning, accounting or balance sheets.
A lack of people skills, the failure to be aware of how abrasive behaviour alienated colleagues was a common issue. At his son's summer camp Book heard Dr Steven J. Stein, whose company specialised in psychological tests, describe how Dr Reuven Bar-On had found a valid scientific instrument that defined and measured emotional quotients.
When Daniel Goleman's book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ was published in 1995 it confirmed what they already suspected - IQ was not as important as previously believed.
They adopted the phrase "Emotional Intelligence" to explain why some people who are academically brilliant fail to achieve their potential.
IQ is a measure of a person's cognitive intelligence. It peaks when a person is around 17 and remains constant throughout adulthood. Studies show it has about a 1 per cent impact on successful achievement.
Emotional intelligence is not fixed and accounts for 27 per cent of success. Dr Bar-On and other researchers worldwide have built up a voluminous databank to uncover incontrovertible links between emotional intelligence and proven success in peoples' personal lives.
It is now widely accepted that self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. Recognising feelings, building a vocabulary for expressing them and understanding the links between thoughts, feelings and reactions are better predictors of success in life than IQ.
Goleman found that self-awareness reflects the ability of a person to recognise strengths and to see him or herself in a positive but realistic light. The goal of emotional self-awareness is not to analyse emotions. It's to have the acuity to have an emotional understanding of what one is doing, for what purpose and how it is affecting oneself and others.
Highly functioning achievers understand their own and other peoples' feelings. When the ability to take another person's emotions into account is lacking communication suffers. The work environment becomes stressful and productivity goes down.
Bullying in the workplace is a serious health issue that companies are forced to address. A bully usually lacks self-awareness, is poor at recognising emotional feelings and fails to recognise how others perceive and respond to his or her behaviour.
The unaware woman who acts in an intimidating manner when her intention was to appear decisive may not recognise that she comes across as a bully. The man who shouts at his staff and talks in an angry and aggressive manner may believe he is being assertive. His staff perceive him as him loud and aggressive.
The intellectually brilliant executive who lacks self-awareness has a diminished ability to motivate his team or to address problems effectively. Unaccustomed to paying attention to feelings he misses the internal signals that indicate he is getting stressed and alienating others.
Peter Drucker author of Management for the 21st Century stresses that self-awareness and the capacity to build mutually satisfying relationships provides the backbone of strong management and effective leadership.
Many businesses recognise this and provide training and coaching that improves self-awareness, teaches interpersonal skills, adaptability and stress management among other life skills.
In any relationship with family or colleagues it's in your own best interest to become aware of what is working well for you and to change what is not working.
A busy executive had to attend several meetings in a day. He was usually late, rushed in red faced, perspiring and out of breath. He appeared flustered and disorganised.
With life skills coaching he learned to slow down before he entered the room. This simple strategy made him look relaxed and created a different impression. He looked and felt confident.
The goal of self-awareness is to develop life skills that unlock your potential for successful living.